Do you have a fear of confrontation? Would you like to learn how to overcome your fear? Would you like to find out how to address conflicts in a healthy way?
Life would be a piece of cake if we never had to fight with anyone, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, arguments, disagreements, and clashes of opinion are normal, and you should expect them to happen from time to time. Healthy confrontations can help you to resolve your problems and move forward with your life. Imagine you’re in a relationship with someone. You’ve been with that person for a year or two but you’ve stopped feeling as though you are growing; your relationship has become unfulfilling and it lacks passion. You wonder whether you are actually in love, or just comfortable. When you confront your partner honestly and openly, you will undoubtedly come to a conclusion – to stay together and try to fix the things that might be broken in the relationship, or to go your separate ways. In both cases you are taking a step forward that will bring about some sort of solution.
When someone is frustrating you at work you should behave in a similar way. Let that person know their behavior is bothering you, discuss reasons for the behavior and possible solutions, and try to move forward. If you go about it the right way, using confrontation to address your problems can be beneficial for everyone involved.
People who have a fear of confrontation aren’t able to assert themselves. The idea of discussing a problem you have with someone makes you uncomfortable, anxious, or avoidant. However, this inability to face problems and people that trouble you also has an impact on your life. You are susceptible to being undermined by people, going along with things you don’t want to do or don’t believe in, and having trouble standing up for yourself and your ideas. In the end, it is impossible to lead the life you would like to with a fear of confrontation.
However, you must keep in mind that somewhere along the line, you were conditioned to feel fear in response to confrontation. Perhaps speaking up got you into trouble as a child. Or perhaps you had a bad experience when you stood up for yourself. When these kinds of experiences accumulate, it can cause you to believe that confrontation is something to be feared. So how can you overcome that conditioning? When you practise Stillness, you can actually clear your mind of the worries, anxieties, and defeating thoughts that you have gathered over the years. You progress to a state of inner peace, where your mind expresses your ultimate reality. Practising Stillness is a healthy way to overcome a fear of confrontation on your own. All you have to do is take the time to find out more.
Tips for Confronting Others
Once you’ve gotten over your fear of confrontation, the next step is to find out how to actually confront other people in a healthy manner. Let’s face it: if you don’t learn how to correctly talk about your issues with other people, you might end up back at square one by approaching that person in an aggressive or combative manner. The following tips can help you when you’re actually trying to take up a concern you have with someone else:
- Approach conflict like a riddle that you want to solve. When you discuss the issue with the other person, be sure to identify all of the stakeholders and how they are affected. Assert that you are trying to find a solution that works for everyone and ask that person what they would do in that particular situation.
- Maintain a good rapport with people. If you are on good terms with everyone, you’ll be less likely to face problems when you bring up your grievances. If you are cooperative and agreeable most of the time, people will be more likely to take your problem seriously and cooperate with you to find a solution.
- Watch your language. Use language that is constructive. Don’t attack the person – that will only make them defensive. Instead, describe the actions or situations that are contributing to the problem.
If you would you like to learn more about healthy conflict resolution and overcoming your fear of confrontation, take some time to understand how cultivating Stillness can help.
Let Stillness help you overcome your fear of confrontation.
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