How To Give And Not Make A Mess

Are you one of those people that feels really uncomfortable when a friend pays for your meal?

Do you feel a sense of embarrassment when you are given a generous gift?

Do you squirm and feel uneasy when you’ve been given a glowing compliment?

Maybe you would much rather be the one that is giving, then you could avoid any of these unpleasant sensations?

It’s that special time of year when we do a lot of giving. For some people, they just LOVE giving. There are people like my parents, who most of their lives have given SO much to their family, the local church, the school and the community as a whole. It’s almost endless how much they give. This is a wonderful quality, however it can come with a downside also. Firstly, we can give too much, which sounds crazy, but giving too much can make others feel uncomfortable. Then there is giving and not being able to receive, which leads to an imbalance and state of depletion.

We are being saturated on social media by the likes of Gary Vee as to why it’s so important that we give, give and give more. ‘Be of service’ is the latest mantra being flogged to us time and time again. Which is all great, and yes it’s something that the world needs more of after we’d had a very ‘ME’ oriented society for so long.  However when it is done without balance and awareness, it leaves us flat stoney broke, depressed, low in energy and a lot of recipients of our giving overwhelmed.

Giving and receiving is an art form that requires a degree of mindfulness…one that I’m still learning. There needs to be a balance of knowing how much to give, and when to receive. We can give in many ways, like giving praise, the emojis at the end of our text messages, being of service with our time, sharing our money, imparting our knowledge, showering people with our affection and offering gifts. You’d think yes, just give, give, give. But it’s not that simple.

There are times when I have given too much affection, too much of my time, too many compliments or even too much knowledge, and it’s like overfilling a container, it gets messy and uncomfortable. If someone was to hold out a glass and asked you to fill it up, and you just kept pouring over the brim because you have so much to give, things would not only get messy, you’d most likely upset the person who held out their glass! Giving makes us feel good, which is why we do it…but there are a few other factors that need to be taken into account when we do this.

It is not what we are willing to give to people that’s important, it’s what they are capable of receiving. Understanding the recipients need is critical in knowing how much to give. This applies to emojis, affection, knowledge or anything else that we are giving. When we give too much, it leaves the other person feeling awkward, uncomfortable or overwhelmed, which in the end defeats the purpose of giving, right? Who would have thought the simple act of giving would be so complex?

Then there is the art of receiving. If we like to give, and yet we aren’t very good at receiving, then we are doing two things, firstly depleting ourselves of energy, time and money and secondly, we are depriving those people that also like to give the ability to experience that joy also. Receiving isn’t a natural trait for many of us. We can be programmed with a sense of unworthiness or poverty mindset, and receiving compliments, money, love, or affection can be incongruent with our ingrained belief systems which in the end causes us to feel uncomfortable. Learning to receive may require a process of over-ride deep conditioning through meditation and affirmations. What we can do is explore deeply within us and ask ourselves what program are we operating with? Then set about daily to not only shift these old thought patterns bit old feelings also. If you are always feeling poor or stressed about money, then this vibration will continue to manifest through your life and your decisions will be influenced by this inner feeling. So we have to take time out each day and get into this feeling and thinking body and work at shifting it to one of abundance and security, knowing that we will be supported and provided for. The Universe is infinitely abundant. So when someone showers us with any abundance we open our arms with gratitude and say ‘YES’ and THANK YOU’.

Giving and receiving is a delicate process that isn’t black and white, it’s a variable for each person and each situation, like walking a tightrope. Finding that balance is something we have to feel out. Some people hold out a big container and say, yes, fill it up, I’m open to receiving! Whereas others might hold out a tiny thimble and ask for a small morsel, and others might not be holding up anything at all.

How do we get this right every time? We won’t, but being a little more mindful through the process will go along way. It’s a work in progress and a balancing act that evolves over time.

Happy Festive season and may you give and receive joyfully!

                                                                  __________________________
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4 Tips On How To Let Go Of 2016 And Soar Into 2017

2017How was 2016 for you?

Was it a year that you could look back on with pleasure or pain? Do you look back on it with smiles or sadness?

I know for some of our Tribe it was a very difficult year, and for others they had a highly successful year. Well regardless of what year you had, in today’s article I’m going to share some tips with you on how to make 2017 a wonderfully successful year!

Whether 2016 was a tough year or not for you, one thing is sure, that 2016 is coming to an end. It’s past, finished, history. DONE! Now what lies ahead is 2017. You have a year ahead of incredible possibilities. You have 365 days to wake up and live a remarkable life. Before you is a blank canvas and you get to create the life you intend.

To do this though you will need to have strategy. You need to have a plan. If 2016 wasn’t such a good year and you continue doing the same thing over and over again in 2017 will anything change? Or will it continue to be the same recurring experiences for the next 12 months? Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So what can you do to create a successful, healthy and vibrant 2017?

Here are some tips:

1. Gratitude: Spend some time to list as many things as possible that you are grateful for in 2016. If you really go deep into this you will be amazed at how many things you can find to be grateful for. For instance, loved ones who supported you, a body that carried you around, the sun that gave you warmth, rain that quenched your thirst, trees that supplied you with oxygen, a job that provided you with wealth etc etc. As you write this list you will notice how your body changes the way it feels. It will be lighter and you will feel more abundant.When you feel more abundant, you will attract more abundance.
2. Re-write history: Look back on 2016 and see where your pain points were. Where were there times that really challenged you and caused pain? Let’s not be afraid to look at those moments and see how we can find growth out of that experience. This won’t be easy to do, and it might not be something you are ready to do, and that’s ok. But if you ARE ready and willing, find courage to delve into that experience and ask how has this helped me grow and live a better life in 2017? Has it helped me discover compassion? Has it helped me cultivate Self-love? Has it helped me connect deeper to those that support me? Has it inspired me to learn to meditate, read books or attend courses that broadened my awareness about life? Can you find something to elevate you from that experience?
3. Revamp your health: Our body is a complex system that is completely interwoven. It’s designed to have numerous parts all working together efficiently and effectively. It’s amazing that it will do this for 60, 70, 80….120 years and more! AMAZING! But it does need the right fuel and maintenance to keep functioning optimally. It’s really simple though. This piece of equipment needs non-toxic living foods like fruit, vegetables and cultured foods that are packed with minerals and nutrients. It needs plenty of clean non-toxic water, good fats and oils, and proteins and carbohydrates (paleo’s would disagree about the carbs and that’s ok). Your body also needs to move and have good blood flow, so regular exercise which will also enhance muscle development and improve bone density. To counteract this it also needs to be stretched and be supple. (Did someone mention yoga?) As you can see, health is simple. Of course the body is fallible and has limitations, so perfect health is an ideal. I do all of these things and still have rotator cuff issues and a meniscus tear in my knee! It’s ok though, accepting the body has limits and fallibility is part of this process but my intention is to FEEL amazing in my body.
4. Upgrade your software: No doubt you have a smartphone. Yes? 🙂 How often are you asked to update the software by the makers of the phone? Every month? Possibly more often than that? What will you do in 2017 to update your software? In #3 we discuss the hardware, your body, well let’s now look at the software. Is it running with an old outdated operating system? Updating your software is critical to updating your life. Old thought patterns of self-doubt, fear, poverty-mindsets, unworthiness and limitation manifest into your health, relationships, wealth and spirituality. There is a sanskrit phrase ‘Yadbhavam Tat Bhavati’ which means what we think we become. To create a magnificent life we need to upgrade our thoughts and get clear on the life we intend to create. To do this you will really have to stretch your mind beyond the boundaries of what it’s conditioned to think. This will require regular attention on a daily basis and a daily meditation practice. In transcending style meditations your mind goes beyond the limitations of thought and dips into a field of infinite possibility. When the mind stabilises in this vast field you will be amazed at the thoughts that bubble up in your mind!
So the question is are you going to drift aimlessly into 2017 and ‘hope’ everything turns out ok or are you going to leap right in with clear direction and intention to create a sublime year. You are truly worthy of a magnificent life and it starts with this belief first and foremost. Make 2017 your year of transformation, growth and inner-love.

Happy New Year!

Love Tom

PS. If you feel 2017 is your year to step up as a transformational leader then you might like to consider the Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership. This is a 12 month coaching program that will inspire and support you in fulfilling your life purpose. You will receive training on how to get clear on your goals, expand your consciousness, learn advanced Vedic practices and philosophy as well as the practical application of all this like how to write books, present talks, grow your social media and run a successful business as a transformational leader. If you feel this is for you fill in the application form below and make 2017 a massive year!

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How To Create A Vision Board And A Magnificent Life!

 

vision-board-2014-crossfit-round-rockFor the past few weeks I’ve been re-assessing my Vision Board. I visit this regularly and check it is up to date and aligned with my vision for life.

What’s a vision board did I hear some of you ask?

Some of you will not only know of them, but actually use them. One friend of mine told me that she manifest everything on her vision board this year!

So a vision board is a large board with affirmations or images of things that you would like to manifest in your life in the year ahead. Each morning and night, as you rise and as you go to bed, you look at this board, feel the energy of the images or affirmations and then let it go.

How does it work? Well by looking at the image and feeling the energy of it, this leaves an imprint of it embedded into your body. By letting it go and not being attached to it dissolves the neediness and the “wanting” which would normally push the vision further away from you. What’s important here is to not ‘wish’ for the outcome, but to feel what it feels like for the outcome to have already happened.

The laws of attraction will simply do the rest. You’ll be quite amazed at how Nature, The Universe, or whatever you’d like to call it, effortlessly goes about creating circumstance that enables the manifestation of your visions.

It can be anything from where you’d like to be in your career, relationships, wealth, living environment, level of consciousness, amount of love or happiness you are feeling, or state of health.

Think of it like the captain of the ship knowing which port he is going to before he embarks upon his trip.

So how do you want life to pan out? Where do you see yourself in 12 months time? How would you like your life to change? Because it’s going to change, that’s one thing you can be assured. It’s a matter of how much do you want to play a role in it ?

This is how we become Creators of our lives. This is empowerment. To receive ongoing assistance with realising your visions, you might like to consider the Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership. This is a powerful 12 month program that has been changing lives all over the world!

“There are no words to express how blessed I feel to be a part of this amazing group. Thanks Tom”- SC
“Thank you sooooo much, very excited and inspired to get this journey really rolling!!!!”- ZT

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Three Life Changing Questions From World’s Leading Transformational Coach

Don’t you love a “Hero’s Tale”?

You know those stories where someone climbs out of the ashes and rebuilds their life to one of greatness? These stories offer us hope and inspiration.

Well I have one for you that stands out. Introducing Brendon Burchard. This guy was on death’s door after a car accident at the age of 19, and three questions inspired him to look at his life at such a young age:

 

Did I live?
Did I love?
Did I matter?

Three powerful questions that really make you sit up and think. What are you here for? Are you loving fully in every moment? Why are you waking up each day and are you living a relevant life?

Brendon has gone on to do some amazing things. He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Millionaire Messenger, and the #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Charge: Activating the 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive. He is also a public speaker, and online trainer on the topics of motivation, high performance, and online marketing.

One thing Brendon puts a lot of his success down to is meditation. He’s been meditating for 10 years now and says:

“It is the magic method for improving people’s lives mentally and psychologically, and many people would argue spiritually as well.”

I have to agree with Brendon because it was transformational in my life. With just 20 minutes twice a day of setting time aside for stillness, my whole life changed for the better. Who would have thought that by doing something so effortless and seemingly inactive that it could have so much power in changing your active life. Brendon explains it so well here how simple it is:

“I close my eyes and do the meditation and in 20 minutes I’m fresh and feel like I just woke up in the morning, like I had a great nap and bam! Now I can write creatively, unattached to all the previous activities.”

We are accustomed to looking outside ourselves for fulfilment….

…yet happiness is not outside. It’s only when we go within do we truly find peace and happiness.

As Brendon says:

“It’s a sensation, a presence, an aliveness and freshness that most people have never experienced in their lifetime.”

So if you are trying to find happiness and success or trying to find love and money, then start by setting aside time each day to connect to your inner stillness in meditation, then watch what flows from that space.

If you already have a meditation practice, then that’s awesome! Even if it’s just 5 minutes a day to go to that quiet space within.

If you need some assistance with meditation, then you may like to join my 21 day meditation journey where I will be there with you every day for 21 days to help you experience a deep, relaxing, meditation technique called Faster Deeper Bliss.

You can check it out here.

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Stuck on the True Meaning of Life?

Do you ever stop to ask yourself what your life’s purpose is? Do you ever wonder what you’re doing here or whether or not you’re making a tangible difference? If you do, you aren’t alone. In fact, it’s quite human to ponder and pine for the true meaning of life. In fact, we’ve been philosophizing on the meaning of life for hundreds of thousands of years, and guess what? We still don’t have any concrete answers.
 

Perhaps that’s because ‘meaning’ is all relative. In fact, we can choose to give meaning to the various people, situations, places, and things that we encounter throughout our lives. For instance, think of one of your friends. Think about the first time you met that person. At that time your friend was a stranger to you. You might not have placed any significance on your interactions. But now, think about the time you’ve spent with that person. Somewhere along the line you recognized that you enjoy that person’s company, you value his or her opinion, and you want to preserve the relationship. Whether unconscious or conscious, you made a choice to give those various meanings to your relationship with your friend. Had you never decided to place value on the relationship you have with that person, he or she would have remained an acquaintance.

You have tremendous power to choose the various meanings you want your life to have. If you don’t believe that the people and events that you encounter are worthy of meaning, then your life will have no meaning. If you are ready to give meaning to your relationships with others and if you see the things you do as meaningful then your life, in turn, will have meaning. It’s that simple. The following are just a few of life’s many pleasures that have the ability to make your life more worthwhile:

• SPIRITUALITY: The gift of spirituality is something that is in general, poorly understood. So many of us go through life failing to recognize our capacity as divine beings. But in the midst of suffering, we often find ourselves searching for a crutch – something to help us explain what we are going through and understand the bigger picture. That’s when spirituality comes into the forefront. But you needn’t wait until you experience something major to start cultivating a healthy and meaningful sense of spirituality. Through Stillness, you can get started today.

• LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS: It has been said that “A life without love is a life not worth living.” It’s perhaps true that the relationships we will have throughout our lives have the most potential to enrich our lives with profound meaning. As humans we are social creatures. We need to interact with and learn from others in order to survive. The film Into the Wild, which is based on the true story of a man who rejects societal values and chooses a life of solitude in Alaska, is a powerful reminder that a life devoid of relationships is an empty one. Prior to his death Christopher McCandless, the main character of the film, writes a journal entry stating that “Happiness is only real when shared.”

• GOOD HEALTH: It takes as little as a common cold or flu to make you realize how important your health is. Spending one or two days down with an illness is enough to help anyone recognize just how wonderful it is to live a healthy life. If you think that your health is out of your hands, you’re wrong. Only you have the power to improve the quality of your own life by engaging in healthy habits. By exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, managing stress, and taking care of yourself, you show your gratitude for good health and reduce your risk of contracting an illness or falling prey to a disease.

If you’d like to receive monthly coaching to keep you on track with life then join us at the Inner Sanctum. These 1 hour coaching and global meditation sessions will elevate and inspire you. This is what others had to say about their Inner Sanctum experience:

“Words cannot express how honoured I was to be a part of the call today. Your wisdom, passion and serenity are infectious”- FK
You can be a part of these calls from anywhere in the world and they are open to everyone. Plus you will have access to all the previous calls which will be stored neatly in your dashboard. Join the Inner Sanctum by clicking here.

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How To Build an Abundance Mentality

Abundance-1“Yadbhavam Tat Bhavati”

This beautiful sanskrit phrase means “What we think we become”.

What is Abundance?
Abundance is that feeling you get when you are totally happy. It’s a no-worries, go with the flow, happy-go-lucky state of being. You know you feel abundance when you are actually grateful for your life and everything you have. The remarkable thing is that abundance is a way of living; it’s not reflective of what you have or don’t have. Moreover, it doesn’t mean you won’t face problems. Rather, the abundance mentality is a way of thinking and behaving that makes every obstacle you face more than manageable.

When you develop this attitude, you actually start to create and attract the kind of life you want. It’s based on the universal law of attraction; that is, if you are constantly positive you’ll also attract positive people, events, and actions. The premise is simple but the results are astounding.

The Elusive Abundance Mentality
But let’s be honest, does anyone actually have an abundance mentality? Maybe some grinning Buddhist monks? It’s only reasonable to wonder whether or not it’s actually possible to feel a sense of abundance all the time. After all, we all face problems and life will never be perfect. In fact, sometimes it’s downright disheartening.

The truth is that your mentality plays a huge role in how successful you are at overcoming whatever gets you down. When it comes to addressing your problems, the way you see things really does affect the outcome.If you have an unshakable belief in your ability to overcome, and if you act as though you’ve been blessed with abundance no matter what, you’ll be more likely to attract a solution.

The Stillness Movement
So how can a person develop this beneficial mentality? You have to learn how to change the underlying frequency of your being. Both your level of consciousness and your physiological makeup are involved in this transition – and you’ll go from feeling unlucky to feeling prosperous. It`s a shift that is accomplished through Stillness. In the act of meditation you will change how you feel as you transcend beyond the idea of your problems. In this stillness there is no longer right or wrong, good or bad. In this balanced state your feeling level changes. This in turn changes what you attract. We expand on this in great detail in the Empowerment Series. Here we have three one hour audios on Attracting Abundance, Living A Life Of Purpose and Finding Love. You can find out more about the Empowerment Series by clicking here .

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Find Out How To Shift Your Karma

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A good friend of mine, Anne McCue was in the country performing a gig last week. (She’s a rock star, look her up!)
She introduced one song by saying: “This next song is inspired by a Confucius saying that goes like this- ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.’”

The next morning I read about how a couple killed a number of people in San Bernardino, only to then be shot and killed themselves, leaving behind a trail of pain, suffering and also a young child. Relevant song Annie.

Karma is a sensitive topic. We generally think of karma as a negative force that is here to punish us when we do something wrong.

I saw a young child trip over a step in the footpath the other day and I heard his sister say to him: “There’s your karma for being mean to me.”

Radiohead sang in their cult song Karma Police: “This is what you get when you mess with us.”

I prefer to think of karma as a scientific law of cause and effect. It never ceases to amaze me at how simple this is when I watch it play out in my life. Many times in my life I have been slapped and whipped by karma and many times I have had a life flow with abundance and joy by karma. It never fails or falters. It might take some time to respond, but respond it will.

Every action flows from an energy, a vibration, or let’s call it a feeling. That feeling level that motivates the action will set forth a flow of events that respond to that feeling. From there, a reciprocal action will ensue in your life based up that vibration.

In my past, if my actions were driven by hate, anger, fear, selfishness or other low-grade feelings, then interestingly I experience events that inspire more of those feelings. I would get parking tickets, end up in arguments, fights, get sick or things go ‘wrong’ in my life. If my actions are motivated by love, kindness, compassion and selflessness, then my life flows effortlessly with a lightness and abundance. From there joy and love flow through each day and life is smooth.

Karma plays out in our lives everyday. It’s transference of energy. Everything is energy. It has become a trendy word that you see splashed across yogi’s t-shirts and on Instagram images daily (over 1,600,000 karma hash tags!) But in essence, it’s a simple flow of energy creating a ripple effect.

Often we are trying to change our ‘actions’ in our lives when we are not realising the action is motivated by energy. How we FEEL determines how we act. When you feel angry, you act very differently than when you feel calm and kind.

The Dalai Lama wisely once said, ‘My religion is kindness’. Kindness is not an ideology, its not a belief, its not a principle. Kindness is a feeling, an energy. You either feel kind or you don’t. The basis of kindness is love.

Each day I observe an escalation in global turmoil. More hate, more separation, more anger and of course more chaos. The way I see it is only one thing will change this…not ideologies, not regions, not politics, not guns and not warships. That one thing is HOW WE FEEL. There are only so many feelings we can have. Is it fear, anger, hate, shame, guilt, or is it love, kindness, compassion and joy? (Or variables of these?) The only true power we have is how we feel. This alone is our source of power.

When my life is chaotic, when I am suffering, I know it’s time to pause, and look within. I ask myself, “Heck Tom, what feeling are you emitting to have attracted all this mess!?” Then I know it’s time to step back, calm everything down, and work on shifting my energy. One simple technique I find helps more than anything else, is meditation. It’s not the cure-all, but it sure helps re-centre me and shift my feeling level.

Karma will always play out in your life, the choice is do you shift it from chaos to smooth, from sickness to health, from tired to energised, from heaviness to lightness, from war to peace.

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