How To Overcome The Fear Of Being Seen

Are you afraid of being seen? Feel intimidated about speaking on stage? Holding back from realising your purpose in case you are judged?

We tend to think someone has a lot of ego if they love to be seen, and in a time of social media, this is like steroids for the ego. However, for many of my coaching clients, who are looking to impact the world in a positive way, the biggest challenge they face is NOT wanting to be seen. They wince and squirm at the thought of posting on social media, speaking on stage or getting their message out to the world. This, however, is also the ego. The ego loves to be seen, or, is afraid of being seen.

Sound familiar?

I can totally relate. At times I can watch my ego oscillate back and forth, from loving being seen, to wanting to hide and never been seen again. Ugh, pesky ego!

So how do we overcome this if we feel compelled to bring more light into the world or help support people through life?

The ego isn’t who we are. It’s a filtering process that can obstruct the flow of Wisdom, Truth, Love and Light that’s moving through us.

The Divine is neither concerned if it is seen or not seen. The Divine just is, and it expresses through forms. We are a vessel for the Divine to flow through. In Sanskrit, this is called ‘lila’, the dance of the Divine.

When we melt the ego away, letting it slowly dissolve along our journey of Self-Realisation, more of that flow will naturally unfold and expression will happen spontaneously, creatively and fluidly, with neither it being labelled by the ego as positive or negative, it just is. This is a process, so if you feel the ego rising up, and it will, just say “Hi”, give it a wink, and say: “I see you.”

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If you feel you would like some support to overcome these obstacles so that you can find your voice and share your message with the world, then book a free exploration call with our team by clicking here. In this call you will get clearer about your goals and how to make them become a reality. Plus our team will let you know more about the Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership, my coaching program to help leaders impact more people around the world. Find out more here.

How To Find The Confidence To Speak In Front Of 300 People

public_speaking_stage_womanHow do you feel about getting up on stage and speaking in front of 300 people? Would you get a knot in your stomach? How about the sickening feeling of nausea, dry mouth and sweaty palms? Would your heart start pulsing faster as the fight-flight kicks in??
It’s hard to not have noticed the plethora of self-confidence articles and social media memes that have been posted up on the Internet in the last few years. Adding to these are numerous self-confidence boosting seminars and online programs to help you ‘overcome your fears’, step on the stage and find your voice. It has been suggested that speaking on stage is one of the greatest fears we can face in life. I definitely know. Years ago I would stutter and stammer, go bright red in the face and have a near panic attack if I was asked to speak in front of 3 people!

These days I feel comfortable stepping onstage in front of 300-500 people (although yes there may still be a little flutter inside) but the fear has reduced dramatically. What has changed? Most self-confidence boosting courses and confidence coaching is focussed on building up your ego so you will feel courageous about the confronting situation. In this article however, I will be taking a very different approach. This is not about building up your ego so that it’s bigger than the fear; rather it’s the complete opposite. Our goal here is not to strive for a bigger ego.

True confidence as opposed to self-confidence, is when we reduce and even eradicate the ego. Ideally to the point where there is no more ego. When there is no ego, there is no fear. Fear is only experienced by the ego. If there is no fear, then we are free to BE our true Self.

A very shy friend of mine would criticise confident people saying they had BIG egos. Yet shyness, and the fear of being seen is also a function of a big ego. Ego isn’t just confidence, it is all human traits from greed, shyness, shame, guilt, lust, anger, sadness and on and on. It’s that part of us that likes or dislikes being seen. It’s the entity in us that loves it when we are admired and also that part of us that hates it when we are criticised.

So who are we when this ego is reduced or eradicated? We are the peaceful, uninfluenced observer. It is the Inner Being. It is the deep sweet serenity that watches silently. This is the you that is untainted by the vasanas or fluctuations of the mind. Here there is no fear and no bravado. It’s simply you, or in the Vedic World View, it is AMNESS or SELF. Here you are free. You are unaffected if you are in front of 3 people or 300 people.

So in essence, it is total presence. When you are on stage, you are simply standing on stage. Nothing more than that. True confidence is when we are acting from a place of egolessness and free in each moment. True confidence doesn’t need courage or bravado because there is no fear to be brave about.

How do we eradicate the ego to experience this pure liberated state? This is our work. And yes, it is not easy! It’s been many years work for me and it still continues. That pesky ego is still lingering around and wreaks havoc at times in my life. But our work is to continue to reduce its influence in our state of peaceful presence. To do this meditation plays a HUGE role. In the stillness of meditation we connect with that unbounded state of peaceful presence, beyond the limits of the ego. The work is to put aside time to meditate, and then outside of meditation, to observe the difference between that which is ego and that which is not. This is a daily vigilant process. Receiving ongoing support in this work also helps, as the ego can be virulent and stubborn, so finding a coach or guide to assist you is also beneficial. When your ego starts dissolving and your peaceful presence prevails, then walking on stage in front of 500 people will be a much calmer and truly confident experience!

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Learn to become a conscious leader and transform yourself and those around you through the personal guidance from Founder of The Stillness Project, Tom Cronin.

This program will stretch you, expand your potential, deepen your gifts to the world, and explore ways in which you can bring your vision, mission and purpose to life. Click here for a free session to get clear on your vision in life with Tom Cronin.

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This One Thought Could Change the Entire Direction Of Your Life

screen-shot-2016-09-25-at-11-29-51-amYadbhavam Tat Bhavati….what we think we become.

I’m sure you often ponder the life you are living and if its where you want to be. Whether its your job, your relationships, the city you are living in or whether you are living a life of relevance or not. The big challenge for many of us is having a vision for where we want to be that is NOT determined by where we have BEEN. Yes, sounds confusing I know but stay with me.

The choices we make today (which determine our future) are usually influenced by the perception we have about ourselves. The perception of WHO WE ARE is usually determined by our past. For instance if you had a very negative upbringing with lots of abuse, then this becomes your story that you identify with. This previous experience now defines the perception of who you think you are. I’m this person or I’m that person based upon my previous life experiences. This then determines the decisions that you make which determines your future. So your future life is heavily influenced by your past.

This is why we keeping going round and round in circles reliving the same relationships, financial situations and careers over and over again because of this story we have inside our head about who we are and what level of worthiness we feel about ourselves.

How do we break this pattern? This is the exciting part! What if you had a perception about WHO YOU ARE based upon your FUTURE experiences and not your PAST experiences? For instance if you saw yourself in the future as a best-selling author, award winning film-maker, leading CEO of a company, in a loving harmonious relationship, living with affluence, founder of a charity, working in an orphanage, creating a globally successful app or whatever you imagine yourself doing, then this would change the decisions that you make today.

Think of this, the canvas of your future life is blank, and you get to fill it in with whatever you would like!! When you hold that vision firmly inside your head, then this redefines the perception that you have of yourself. This then redefines the decisions that you make and this defines your future. So your new future perception of yourself that you hold today, leads you to becoming this in the future! How cool is that? Yadbhavam tat bhavati.

The big challenge now is to not only continue to hold that firm vision of your future self but to even see it in the first place! This is where the Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership comes in. This is a 12 month coaching program where we help you find that BIG VISION of your future self, hold that vision, and then make it become REAL.

This is what some of our members have said about Zen Academy:

“Thank you Tom, this session has been awesome. I feel back on track, motivated and energised.”

“Hi Tom, firstly I want to say a huge thank you for your responses to my challenges last month!!! They were absolutely on point and have helped me get through the month and move forward!! THANK YOU!!!!”

“I feel I have re-gained my personal power, and will not be shoved around any more. Again thanks for your wisdom!!!!!!”

If you feel it’s time for you to redirect your life then lets chat about the Zen Academy by clicking here.

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See What Happens When This Woman Takes Off Her Clothes In New York…

Through my entire high school experience I had body issues. I was a skinny, freckly, pasty kid in an all boys agricultural college that specialised in rugby league. Needless to say, the majority of the students were big strapping farmhands or huge footballers built like sides of buses.

I would get teased about how skinny I was with comments like:
“Cronin, you look like a matchstick with the wood carved off it!”
and
“Cronin, do you run around in the shower to get wet?”

Tapeworm was one that also stuck.

I did everything I could to put on weight, and probably ate twice as much as most kids but all to no avail. And so, I had to live with being the skinny, freckly, pasty kid at school. It was a struggle I dealt with for most of my youth. It’s ok now, Im over that issue and moved on 🙂

Body image is a HUGE issue in our world today. Studies reveal that 10% of teenagers suffer from some form of eating disorder and a study done at the Council of Size and Weight found that 90% of teenagers want a different shaped body.

We struggle so much to accept this amazing vehicle we have been given. For 70, 80, 90 or even 100 years your soul will be carrying around this human space suit so that you can exist here on this planet. It’s a remarkable piece of equipment. It digests food, has a heart that beats, has blood pulsing through it, lungs that pump air, eyes that can see, fingers that can feel, ears that can hear. It can scream, and laugh, and cry and orgasm…wow! Isn’t it amazing? And there is not one of them in all the 7 billion of them on this planet that is exactly the same…amazing right?

How comfortable are you with your human space suit? Check out this powerful clip of an experiment a young woman did, stripped down to her underwear on a busy corner in the middle of New York. Watch what happens next…

 

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10 Steps To Build Your Confidence

confidence

Are you looking for confidence builders that really work? Confidence is a tool that can help you to overcome obstacles and leave a lasting impression. And the best part about confidence is that it rubs off on others. When you’re confident about what you’re saying or doing, you’ll come off as intelligent, successful, capable and even desirable. Confident people have no trouble attracting others.

Of course, even people who are regularly confident experience spells of low self-esteem or insecurity. The important thing to remember is that if you find yourself feeling unusually down, it’s doesn’t take much to give your confidence level a boost.

The following confidence builders can help you stay steady and self-assured:

1.Peel yourself away from the mirror. Yes, you should devote some time each day to your appearance, but once you’re ready, let that be the end of it. Most of us have difficulty staying away from mirrors when we encounter them in elevators or bathrooms, but the less time you spend agonizing over every detail of your appearance, the happier you’ll be.

2.Stand behind your decisions. Instead of humming and hawing over miniscule decisions or jumping back and forth trying to decide what to do, try making a decision and going with it. This doesn’t mean you should start behaving rashly, but people who are confident and self-assured tend to know what they want.

3.Work on your posture. Your mom probably told you when you were a kid to stop slouching and she was right. When you stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head held high, the impression you

4.Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t worry about anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your best friend is getting engaged or your neighbor just got a promotion at work?Dwelling on what others have achieved isn’t going to help you feel good about yourself, nor is it going to help you get ahead.

5.Do things alone. It’s easy to feel sure of yourself when you’re out with a group of people or a boyfriend or girlfriend. But doing things alone can leave you feeling outside of your comfort zone. Try doing things alone every now and then to cultivate your sense of confidence.

6. Practice meditation. By making your mind Still, you can filter out defeating thoughts which can contribute to low self-esteem. Twenty minutes twice a day can have a profound effect on your confidence.

7.Exchange online social networking for face-to-face social networking. Do you spend hours clicking through photos of your “friends,” analyzing their outfits or who they’ve been clicked with? Instead of wasting your time online, why not get out and socialize yourself? Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you to feel more confident about yourself.

8.Make eye contact. Confident people aren’t afraid to make eye contact. When you’re talking to someone, practice staring that person straight in the eyes. You’ll give off the impression that you’re sure of yourself, confident, and intelligent.

9.Dress your best. If you feel good in whatever you’re wearing, you’re more likely to convey that message to others, too. Instead of going out in your old pair of sweat pants, put some effort into your appearance each time you leave the house. You’ll find that spending just a few minutes on your outfit will help you to step out with confidence.

10.Feel wealthy. Take the time to remind yourself of all you have. You may not be the richest, the most successful, the prettiest or the smartest but isn’t it better to just be yourself? When you appreciate the blessings you do have and stop being in a state of wanting, you don’t need to feel down about what you don’t have.

If you would like some assistance with self-discipline then the Empowerment Series is for you! Here you will receive 3 x 1 hour audios on living a life of purpose, manifesting abundance, and finding love. You will also receive a companion book for notes and three ebook versions of the audios. Click here to find out more.

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How To Find Your Rampaging Invincibility And Overcome Your Fears

Have you often felt vulnerable, worried, fearful, lonely, sad, insufficient, unloved? Do you wonder if life could have turned out another way? Do you sometimes feel you may not have the strength to go another day?

It’s time to tap into your rampaging invincibility!!!

It’s time to awaken that roaring lion of power and might within.

It’s time to connect to your soul and seize the glory of life that is there before you.

If you need some help, Esther Hicks channeling Abraham might do the trick as she expresses a powerful message here in this clip.

Start to live an empowered life by exploring these Empowerment Series especially designed for you. The Empowerment Series are three 1 hour audios on Living a life of purpose, attracting abundance finding love. You will also receive the ebook versions and a companion book for taking notes. This is what some others had to say about their Empowerment Series

“I wanted to express my gratitude to you as you have open a door to something I have been trying to reach for a long time: Myself, my inner strength. Your  empowerment series talked straight to my heart and inspired me to be love. So thank you,  thank you, thank you for all your hard work and for putting all that knowledge in such a beautiful and simple way.” – Susana V.
“Just finished an audio from the Empowerment Series…..very impactful. Loved it!!” Melinda Batt

To start empowering your life get the Empowerment Series by clicking the link below

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Why Your Mind Gets Stuck In The Negative (And How To Get Unstuck)

Did you know that our minds occupy negative thinking on average around 60-70% of the time? For instance when we catch up with family or friends at the end of the day the common topic of conversation is things that didn’t meet our expectation or disappointed us. Sound familiar?

I can certainly relate to this as I used to be a very depressed and negative person.Talking about positive things can be seen as bragging or boastful and it was always much easier to think and talk about negative things. But I realised this wasn’t serving me and so I dedicated my time to changing this. It took a lot of effort and time to redirect my thinking into the positive space.

I grappled with why this is the case and why we don’t naturally feel compelled to think and speak positively. Well this short 10 minute TED talk by psychologist Alison Ledgerwood will explain it all very clearly for you.  She says at the 6:21 mark that “our view of the world tilts towards the negative”. She goes on to say “that it is very easy to go from good to bad, but we have to work far harder to go from bad to good with our perspective.”

The good news is there is a way to overcome this, although admittedly it will require some daily work. Check this short clip out to find out how to think more positively and as a result, live a more positive life.

If you’d like some support to think more positively then the Empowerment Series will help you! It has 3 x 1 hour audios, ebooks and companion note book that will redefine the way you think about wealth, relationships and life purpose. As one listener said:
“I wanted to express my gratitude to you as you have open a door to something I have been trying to reach for a long time: Myself, my inner strength. Your empowerment series talked straight to my heart and inspired me to be love. So thank you, thank you, thank you for all your hard work and for putting all that knowledge in such a beautiful and simple way.” – Susana V.

Click below to find out more…

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This One Word Will Help You Through Your Next Challenging Experience

gumption

There is a word that has been hiding under rock for quite a while now. It’s a word that describes an essential part of our make up however this word has gone missing of late.

This was highlighted last week when my son mentioned that if they didn’t want to do sport at school they could just sit it out during that session and not participate. This was compounded when my daughter came home from the school swimming carnival and I asked her how she went in her races and she said, “Dad, I didn’t have any races. We just watched.”

“Eh??? You mean you don’t have compulsory races for everyone??”

“No Dad, it’s only for those that choose to”, was the response.

What happened to those days of compulsory sitting in your team line in your swimmers on cold wet grass for hours as you push through race after race on swimming carnival day?

Then a question popped into my head…is our society collectively making life soft and easy, as we constantly seek the most pleasurable, easy experience? Are we avoiding challenges and toil for the sake of an easier life? Of course why wouldn’t we, but is this coming with a price? I liken it to going to the gym and having someone lift your weights for you so you don’t have to strain. It’s an easier path in the beginning, but we reap no long-term rewards as a result. When we are finally confronted by a challenging experience, we are weak and soft and unable to persevere through it.

I’m just as guilty as anyone. I grew up forgoing daily treats during the 40 days of Catholic lent. Every weekend we had early Sunday mass in either a freezing church in winter at 7am or at times a humid hot mass in summer. We had daily chores to be fulfilled on the farm and then Saturdays it was no play until lunchtime after all the farm work was completed. We just got down and did the work, knowing this was part of life. Yet now, there’s no list of jobs on the fridge door for my children to fulfil before they can go out and have their play.

Times have changed, as they do, and knuckling down and doing the ‘hard stuff’ seems to be a thing of the past for many of us around the world, especially children. As soon as things get a little bit challenging we move on to the next job, relationship, or glossy thing that will grab our attention. We have filled our lives up with glamour and gloss and our attention will shift quickly looking for the next pleasurable thing to elevate us. We feel deprived easily and fall into a depression when the pleasure is unable to be found. There are currently 30 millions Americans on anti-depressants.

Is this partly a result of the ‘spiritual movement’? We are often told to take the path of least resistance and to flow through life with ease. All wise words for sure, but can it be taken too literally? Which brings me to the word of the week: GUMPTION

I asked some students if they’d even heard of this word and they thought it was a cleaning product! (Well they were technically correct, as it is a cleaning product, but that’s not the gumption I was speaking of.)

Gumption is grit, guts, and strength. The ability to overcome obstacles, put your head down and push on through the difficult challenges. This is where we find our resolve. It’s in those times that we tap into resourcefulness and inner strength. It’s in these times we embrace stoicism. Another rare word in today’s world.
Lebanese-American scholar and author of the Black Swan, Nassim Taleb, once said:
“A Stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.”
Stoic: Strength Through Overwhelming Incidents of Challenge

An axe gets sharpened through the friction of grinding it against the stone. Diamonds are formed out of heat and pressure. An athlete achieves success through grit and toil.

We have a mighty strength within us that grows in those challenging times, just as your muscles grow under the duress of lifting the weights. Gumption is your teeth gritting, roaring lion of courage within you that will carry you through your next challenging experience and see you stronger and more powerful on the other side.

Are you ready to embrace the next challenge with a roar?

If you would like some assistance with gumption then the Empowerment Series is for you! Here you will receive 3 x 1 hour audios on living a life of purpose, manifesting abundance, and finding love. This is what a previous listener had to say about the Empowerment Series:
Your empowerment series talked straight to my heart and inspired me to be love.
So thank you, thank you, thank you for all your hard work and for putting all that knowledge in such a beautiful and simple way.” – Susana V.
You will also receive a companion book for notes and three ebook versions of the audios. Click here to find out more.

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Your Guide to Improving Self-Confidence

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What is self-confidence? Self-confidence relates to the way you see yourself and the way that you believe others see you. If you would like to work at improving your self-confidence, you must first recognize that there is an optimal level of self-confidence which can help you to succeed in life. If your sense of self-confidence is exaggerated in one direction or the other, you might have difficulty coping with some of life’s stressors.

If you have too little self-confidence, you will:

  • Feel as though you have little to no control in your life
  • Feel as though you are easily manipulated or undermined by other people
  • See yourself as a “pushover”
  • Believe that other people see you as incompetent, unworthy, or useless
  • Fail to recognize your own capabilities and achievements
  • Focus on your failures and your flaws
  • Avoid seeking out new experiences or meeting new people

If you have too much self-confidence, you will:

  • Try to control or manipulate the situations and people you encounter
  • Have difficulty working cooperatively with others
  • Have a “my-way-or-the-highway” attitude
  • Believe that you are always right
  • Be overly focused on your success and inflate your accomplishments
  • Fail to recognize or accept your own flaws and fail to admit to mistakes
  • Avoid situations or experiences that you might not be able to control

So what does an optimal level of self-confidence look like? The key is to have a realistic self-image. You have to see yourself as dynamic human being, with both talents and shortcomings. In addition, you have to be comfortable experiencing new things – even when these things lead to situations that might be out of your control. A healthy sense of self-confidence will help you to successfully cope with stress and develop and grow as a person.

In order to find the right amount of self-confidence you must release fear and understand your own inner potential. Through a practise called Stillness you can realize these goals. Each time you meditate, you go through the process of quieting your mind. You can reach a level of relaxation where you no longer experience the intrusion of defeating thoughts, worries, or self-doubt. It’s at this level that you are able to accept yourself for who you are – including all your strengths and all your weaknesses. When you repeatedly focus on finding this Stillness, you will develop the sense of self-confidence you need to combat life’s many obstacles.

Find out more about meditation in our three free videos by clicking here.

How to Improve Your Self-Confidence
Too much self-confidence?
You need to step outside of your comfort zone, because deep down you’re afraid that you won’t be able to control things. If you are overconfident, you need to let go. Here’s what to do:

  • Let someone else call the shots for once – at work or at home.
  • When you want to do things your way, try to make a compromise instead.
  • Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Ask someone for forgiveness for something you’ve done wrong.
  • Try something new.

Too little self-confidence?
Confidence can be easily faked. If you start acting the part of a confident and capable person, other people will treat you as one.

  • Give your opinion.
  • Own your anxiety but don’t let it control you.
  • Reflect on all of your accomplishments from the past year.
  • Breathe deeply, stand tall, and hold your head up high.
  • Dress the part of a confident and successful person.
  • Make eye contact.

Releasing Fear
At the root of both a lack of self-confidence and overconfidence is fear. If you can’t seem to control your fear – of the unknown, of failure, or of social ridicule – you need to start developing the ability to calm yourself down and have faith in your own inner potential. Meditation can help you to filter out all of those negatively-charged thoughts – the ones that are broadcasting the worst-case scenario over and over again. When you are in a state of Stillness you can see your inner potential in a positive, but realistic light and you won’t feel fearful towards new situations.

How can Stillness help you?
Find out in our three free videos by clicking here.
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