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How To Have The Perfect 2019!

It seemed that for many people, myself included, 2018 was a pretty intense year. The challenges flowed thick and fast! There were times when I was like “Ok, I’m ready for a break now…please ease off for a while!” Was this the case for you?

Well, my feeling is that 2019 is going to be a good year, the question is: will it be free of challenges? In short, NO. Challenges never stop all through our life. Ask anyone you know what their current challenge is and I’m sure they will find something. Then you think, well the Dalai Lama must have it pretty good? He has plenty of money, has accommodation with no debt, as much food as he wants, over 1 million Instagram followers and all the purple robes he ever needs. And yet he is always surrounded by bodyguards with assassination a constant threat, and he faces health issues just like everybody else, having recently spent 4 weeks in the Mayo Clinic for prostate problems. You will see him here supported by two monks holding him up and some firm looking bodyguards behind him.

It’s the nature of reality. As Dr John Demartini, the great thought leader suggests, we will always experience equal measure of support and challenge. Life will have pleasure and life will have pain. Where we struggle is that we have an expectation that if we try harder, get more money, look better, have more followers or manifest that dream boat, then we will finally be free and find peace and happiness. But there is no arrival. We never ‘get there’. What we can do is get better at not expecting to ‘get there’ and deal with the challenges as they appear. I was once told by my coach (yes I coach and get coached) that the challenges never stop, we just stop seeing them as challenges.

I liken it to the analogy of lifting weights which I may have mentioned to you before. If there was no gravitational pull on the dumb bell then there would be no challenge to the arm and therefore there would be no development of the muscle. So I actually pay my gym membership and go to the gym FOR the challenge. So what has all this got to do with making 2019 a great year? By letting go of it being perfect and letting go of it not having challenges we can be in flow more and less resistant to what is. Most of our stresses and anxieties stem from holding on so rigidly to what we think it should be rather than seeing it for what it is- an opportunity to let go and be. The wise do not seeking perfection in places that perfection does not exist. When I am stressed and in a state of mild overwhelm it’s always my reminder to let go and stop trying to control life and create perfection. When you think you have arrived, and you get those 1 million follows on your Insta, or you find that soul mate, or you finally pay off your mortgage, something will pop up to present a challenge. So yes, let’s make 2019 a great year and realise our goals, knowing full well, that when we do, it won’t be perfect and I’m perfectly happy with that.

Someone once said to me: “a rishi observes the fluctuations of life with a mild fascination and slight smile”. I guess this is one thing you can say about the Dalai Lama, throughout all of his challenges, he seems to always have that sweet smile on his face regardless.

Have a beautiful and perfectly imperfect 2019.

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Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and personal coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in his Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. To contact Tom about receiving his guidance or booking him to speak at your company click here.

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