10 Tips On How To Stop Your Partner Leaving You
I worked for my previous employer for 26 years. Yup! One company for 26 years! Insane or smart, it’s open to discussion.
Now that might seem ridiculous but most of my colleagues there were also employees for 20-25 years. We are talking about a money broker (like stock broker) company that employed young staff straight out of uni and even some straight out of school. So how did a company in finance manage to keep its staff for so long? What kept us from leaving to go somewhere else?
I believe they had a philosophy that should not only be embraced by companies all over the world, but also translate to personal relationships.
Recently I had a coaching client come to me in a state of disarray. He ran a real estate business and he had just had 6 staff members leave his company to go to another company. He couldn’t believe it, he was shattered. Partly because his revenues took a hammering and partly because his ego took a hammering. I asked him, “Were you offering them the BEST option available in the industry?” He looked at me dumbfounded.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Well, if your place of employment offered the best option for anyone wanting to be in real estate, then they would have no option but to stay with you. There would be nowhere else to go. They obviously left for one reason only, there was a better option.”
I have to give it to ICAP, my previous employer. They knew:
1. That their bottom line was a result of good staff.
2. You need to keep good staff.
It’s a simple formula. It’s really not complicated. So they did everything they could to keep their staff. Here are some of the added incentives this company laid out for us:
– A full time chef who made us breakfast and lunch
– Shower facilities with fresh white fluffy towels every day
– Personal trainers twice a week
– Team building weekends away
– Partner dinners for our extended family
– A family Christmas day for client and staff families
– A percentage share in profits paid to us quarterly in bonuses
Yes other companies approached us all the time. And when you sit down with that ‘other’ company and discuss what they are offering, you weigh up not only the benefits that your existing company is offering you, but also the loyalty you feel to your company for their investment and goodwill in you. It became a no brainer, and why myself along with most other employees, stayed there for so long. My company simply was the best option…. full stop.
How can this translate to personal relationships? Ask yourself, “Am I the best option for this person?” Or, “Can they get a better ‘deal’ elsewhere?” Sounds very technical and businessy doesn’t it, but again it can be quite simple. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, ask yourself “Why don’t they want to be with me?” It might be that there is a miss alignment in values or differences in your lifestyles (people change and not always at the same rate). But it might be that you’re not offering them a very good deal. If that’s the case, what can you do to sweeten the deal? So rather than throwing in quarterly bonuses and some new fluffy white towels in the linen cupboard, here are some other ideas to help you be the best option for them:
1. Be kind and caring about their well-being
2. Be supportive in their life and encourage them with their goals
3. Contribute financially where possible
4. Openly communicative, so they don’t have to always second guess what you’re thinking
5. Bring lots of fun and laughter to their life
6. Inspire them with new knowledge that you are discovering in your own journey
7. Give them independence and personal freedom so they don’t feel caged
8. Contribute to the work load around the home
9. Be affectionate, passionate and tender
10. Be accepting of their flaws weakness and vulnerabilities
These are just some suggestions that could help you be the best available option for them. There will be plenty more and I’d love to hear any other suggestions that you might have so please leave them below. If they still want to go to another company or person when you feel you have offered the best option, then there are obviously other factors at play. But start by looking within and asking yourself if you are doing everything you can to be the best option for them.
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