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My Valentine’s Day Message To You

Valentines-DayIt’s that big day of the year where roses that usually sell for $5 a bunch are now $25 and white teddy bears and chocolate sales go through the roof. Yes…. Happy Valentines Day!! The one-day of the year where we get to tell people that we love them. Isn’t it just great that we have this romantic day, one day out of 365 days, to be expressive of our love for someone? This is love right? It must be because I saw it that way in the movies. In fact, don’t tell anyone, but I was watching Married At First Sight last night on TV and yep, it was there too.
And so it gets drilled into us. The blueprint for our understanding of love is written. This idea of love becomes embedded into the fabric of our society. I mentioned in my Empowerment Series on Finding Love, that the word ‘love’ has more hits than any other word searched. More than sex, God and money. Yes, 7.47 billion! So what is love? We search for it more than anything else and yet for so many of us it is so elusive or when we do find it, it is associated with immense pain. We sing songs with lyrics like:
“I can’t live, if living is without you” (thanks Mariah) and “Tell me how am supposed to live without you
Now that I’ve been loving’ you so long” (Nice one Mr. Bolton)

Is this love? Why does love come with pain? There is the romantic experience of love that involves an ‘other’. This includes you, and someone else. Then there is the self-referred version of love that comes up from deep within. This is a love that isn’t dependent on the presence of the ‘other’. When love is experienced by the ‘other’s’ presence or attention, then we will undoubtedly experience a sense of loss or void when they withdraw their attention or are no longer present. This leaves our feelings of love in a variable, disempowered state, because it requires some factors that we may not have control over. I.e., another person.

‘Other’s’ trigger our ability to experience who we are…LOVE. They inspire in us a feeling level of love in our body, which we always had the capability of feeling only this time it was triggered by someone or something else. Of course there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s not a judgement. I recall standing at the passport check at customs about to leave the country for a few weeks having just said goodbye to my dear family and tears were streaming down my face! The sense of loss was immense! As I stood there in front of the stern customs man all I had was the memory of seeing them all in the car with tears in their eyes and their little hands waving goodbye to their Dadda. Having these feelings is the human condition. Being raw and authentic and allowing us to FEEL this is what it is to be human. But having awareness about the deeper reality enables us to pass through the emotional release quickly. Knowing we are love is key to this. Stillness brings me to this Source. In my quietest state, when all boundaries of separation have dissolved, I feel the purity of this LOVE. It’s like I am love and I am surrounded by love. It’s a feeling of it all being love, in and around. There’s a deep profound Unboundedness of Love.
This liberates us from the dependency of the ‘other’s’ attention to feel love.

It’s there within us all, and its there surrounding us all. Be still and know that you are love.

Happy Valentines Day.

Love Tom


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