How To Be A Perfectionist And Not Get Stressed
Hi. I’m Tom. I’m a recovering perfectionist. It’s been a few years now. I no longer need to have all my shirts perfectly ironed with a crisp crease down the sleeve. They needed to be hanging facing the same way and spaced evenly apart on the rack. My kitchen had to be perfectly in order, as did the bathroom, bedroom and garage. I needed my job to be perfect, my car to be perfect, my relationships to be perfect, the weather to be perfect and everything else in my life TO BE PERFECT!
It was exhausting, it was stressful and it was frustrating because they just wouldn’t STAY perfect. Everything kept changing and nothing stayed perfect. UGH! I became depressed, I got anxiety and my life became a very unhappy place. (But my shirts still looked good in the wardrobe!)
Then something changed. I learnt that I was seeking perfection in a place that perfection didn’t exist. This was such a source of suffering for me. I learnt that there is perfection but it’s not in this world as we know it or see it. Perfection is in us and all around us but it’s so subtle it’s hard to find. Our attention is usually on the dense things in life like jobs, money, people, houses, the weather, our body etc. But these tangible things and experiences are in the expressed field of time, space and matter, which is imperfect and constantly changing. Your relationship will always change, so too will your job, your money, your body and everything else in your life.
Learning to meditate led me to a subtle experience that wasn’t of the world of time space and matter. It was beyond all of that. Piercing through those layers of gross reality I could dive deep into a field of exquisite Divine bliss. Yes, perfection. It was there time and time again and it never changed. It was a constant every time I went there. Silence. Stillness. Bliss. Love. I realised that yes I was seeking perfection all along but only I was looking in the wrong places.
When I meet perfectionists through my coaching I get very excited! They may not know it yet but deep down they are yearning to experience the very essence of who they are at the subtlest level…Divine Perfection. It’s their lower self seeking Unity with their Higher Self. Once they have the tools that enable them to access it then they are on their way.
I guess in a way I’m still a perfectionist, only now I seek it in the transcendence of Being. Deep in the inner silence of my soul. I let go of trying to find it in perfectly straight bath towels and having work desk perfectly neat. Yes, my wardrobe is a lot messier, and my pantry isn’t as neat and tidy, but that all seems so inconsequential to exploring the bliss of the Divine. Perfection.
Which perfectionist are you? Tell me below…I’d love to know!
And if you’d like to find out more about how to metiate and let go of your grip on being a perfectionist then you might like to explore this meditation program I created called Faster Deeper Bliss.
This has over 20 years of my experience studying meditation, all condensed into an easy, simple and effective daily program that guarantees to have you experiencing the deep and proven benefits of meditation within just 21 days … in fact you’ll notice the benefits much sooner.
We’ve helped thousands of people and I’m sure that we can help you too … check it out here … I believe it is the best meditation training available online.
“Tom Cronin! I just finished number 3 of the Stillness Project. I’m IN LOVE! I’ve tried meditation several times and gave up on it EVERY time. Each day, I CAN’T wait for my next meditation. THANK YOU for taking the mystery out of meditation.” – Leslie