Why Your Set-Backs Are AWESOME For You!

resilienceHave you felt that life is a bit of a challenge lately?

Have things just not gone your way or turned out how you expected it to?

Some days you feel you have been knocked down and it’s just hard to get back up again.

I know, I’ve been there before. So you get glum, you think “Yeh typical this has happened to me.” You think life sucks and spiral down into a deep malaise. Next thing you are making decisions that support your new predicament and the self-sabotage process starts all over again. You’re not alone.

The other night I asked the 80 people that turned up at my weekly meditation session if anyone was stressed or struggling lately…guess how many put up their hand? About 78 of them!

A big theme popping up for me lately is resilience. It’s really fascinating me that if we have the ability to look at our challenges and setbacks in a different light then it could completely change our life! I’ve played around with this lately and it’s remarkable how it affects your mood.

I’ve even applied this to my clients during their mentoring sessions in the Inner Sanctum and it’s like a huge light was turned on in their head. For instance, one client came to me with all sorts of health issues and addictions. He was beating himself up about that fact that his life had become this way. He had been spiralling into a deeper mess until he decided to come and see me. So I said “AWESOME! I’m so glad that your life finally became uncomfortable enough for you to go and do something about it. And now here you are. Isn’t that great?!” At first he gave me the weirdest look but when I explained it he started to see the value in it.

This idea has presented itself three times to me through three different people lately, which means to me that it is very relevant. First I was given a book by one of the leading brand specialists in Australia, Glen Campbell called Thick Face, Black Heart. This book discusses things like you’ve never seen before…it deals with resilience, how to have thick skin in the face of criticism, and how to keep firm with your vision and get back up when you get knocked down.

Then I was discussing with a very good mate of mine, Avnesh Ratnanesan, who is the Founder of Energesse, a book he was reading called Anti-Fragile that I mentioned the other day here. This book is all about not being so fragile, and realising that the process of 3 steps forward, two steps back then three steps forward is actually the sequence of life and when you realise this and embrace it, you’ll move through the steps back with great resilience and come out the other side with a whole new level of growth.

Then finally, I went to a great 1-day seminar held by Sam Cawthorn. This guy is a dude! He died in a head on car crash 6 years ago. He was revived; he lost his right arm and severely damaged his right leg, spent weeks in a coma, then a year in a wheel chair. Sam is an incredibly resilient guy, and saw this incident as a gift that enabled him to find an inner strength that he may not have known was there without this experience. He became a motivational speaker and was awarded Australian Youth of the Year. Now he travels the world presenting motivational talks on resilience at some of the largest business conferences on the planet.

Think of it being like those blow-up clowns that are filled with sand in the bottom. No matter how hard you hit them they just keep popping back up again!

So here’s the opportunity to test this. Find an area of your life that is, let’s say, a current challenge. Now this might not be the easiest thing to do, but try feeling some gratitude that you are feeling uncomfortable. Say to yourself, “This is such a blessing that I am being guided to tap into my resilience and discover my strength.” There is nothing that you can’t handle. You can get through anything life throws at you, and people like Sam Cawthorn are a testament to that. Unleash your resilience and surge forward. Then if you feel compelled, please share with us below how you’ve overcome an obstacle lately. It will be inspiring for us to hear about it.

And if you’d like some support working through this then please consider our mentoring sessions here. These will support you, inspire you and help you break free of those self sabotaging ways of thinking.

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Find Out How To Transform Pain Into Love

green growth after fire

Ok this may ruffle a few feathers but hang with me for just a minute. I was at Gabby Bernstein’s event last Saturday and there were a lot of people sharing their stories of pain, suffering, addictions, trauma and tragedy. Yes tears flowed and there was a supportive compassionate audience. I empathised with those attendees that shared their story because I recalled the time when I was experiencing similar things many years ago.

The question is, did the pain motivate them to buy their tickets to see Gabby? Did it motivate them to go in search for answers, to seek more love and more light in their lives? If so, isn’t that a good thing? I know it was the pain that urged me to start meditating each day. It was the pain that inspired me to change the way I was living and it was pain that inspired me to learn from others.

Is pain an essential part of our evolutionary process and something for us to not run from but rather embrace?

I recently had a green smoothie with a mate of mine who was telling me about a book called Antifragile. This book is all about how things can actually grow from chaos and disorder. In one review it says:

“According to the author, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, there’s an entire class of things that don’t simply resist stress but actually grow, strengthen, or otherwise gain from unforeseen and otherwise unwelcome stimuli.”

The principle here is that disorder, chaos, pain and challenges can actually lead us to a whole new level of growth. Think of this like two steps backwards then three steps forwards. Have you ever noticed a stock market rally on a chart? It’s not a straight line but a series of steps up, back, and then up again to higher ground. You can apply this to individuals, relationships, businesses and countries when there is openness and adaptability to progress and order.

Let’s look at some examples:

1. New growth is inspired after bushfire

2. A business that is struggling will look to change its operations and improve its margins.

3. A struggling relationship will start new levels of understanding and communication

4. You car isn’t running very well, you take it in for a service

5. You get the flu, and decide to rest and not push yourself so hard

6. You have anxiety and learn to meditate

7. You’re unhappy with your job and decide to find your life purpose and change careers

You can see these examples all through our society on a micro and macro level. In Vedic Philosophy there is an understanding that evolution has three forces operating within it. Brahma, the creative operator, Vishnu, the maintenance operator, and Shiva, the destructive operator. Shiva, this remover of irrelevance, is highly revered in India as it is seen as the key force of evolution. Without Shiva there would be no evolution. Shiva can be seen as this force of disorder that paves the way for Brahma, the creative force to enter and rebuild with a new level of cohesiveness.

Is it possible that rather than seeing disorder, chaos and suffering as a negative, what if we are able to see this is part of a sequence that evolution operates through? Each and every moment of discomfort is a guide to do something different and adapt. It’s our cue, a little (or BIG, depends on how resistant we are) nudge from the Universe to adapt and evolve.

I’ve been playing with this idea lately and there are many opportunities to test this. When you feel there is an area of your life that’s not feeling GREAT ask yourself, what is it inspiring you to change?  It could be the way you are running your business; it could be to do with your health, or your relationships. Which ever it is, rather than being glum and feeling crap about yourself, get excited that you are being guided to evolve and adapt. After all, there’s always and only evolution.

Yes, pain sucks. It hurts, and sometimes it feels unbearable. But it’s guiding us home. Isn’t that a gift?

If pain is guiding you to explore now areas of life and to make a deeper connection with yourself, you may like to try our 21 day meditation program called Faster Deeper Bliss. You’ll receive daily guidance from me PLUS receive 37 support videos, ebooks,  and a yoga video! By the end of this course you will be totally trained in the art of meditation and living a more peaceful happier life. We receive testimonials like this below every day from all over the world.

“Your 21 days of Faster, Deeper Bliss program is such great value and a stepping stone for anyone to a fantastic life. Your program has really struck a cord and really transformed my life in such a short space of time.  I am grateful I came across your program and I am hopeful more and more people find stillness and peace to connect better with themselves and their community.” Terri

21Steps

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