10 Steps To Build Your Confidence

confidence

Are you looking for confidence builders that really work? Confidence is a tool that can help you to overcome obstacles and leave a lasting impression. And the best part about confidence is that it rubs off on others. When you’re confident about what you’re saying or doing, you’ll come off as intelligent, successful, capable and even desirable. Confident people have no trouble attracting others.

Of course, even people who are regularly confident experience spells of low self-esteem or insecurity. The important thing to remember is that if you find yourself feeling unusually down, it doesn’t take much to give your confidence level a boost.

The following confidence builders can help you stay steady and self-assured:

  1. Peel yourself away from the mirror. 

Yes, you should devote some time each day to your appearance, but once you’re ready, let that be the end of it. Most of us have difficulty staying away from mirrors when we encounter them in elevators or bathrooms, but the less time you spend agonizing over every detail of your appearance, the happier you’ll be.

  1. Stand behind your decisions. 

Instead of hemming and hawing over miniscule decisions or jumping back and forth trying to decide what to do, try making a decision and going with it. This doesn’t mean you should start behaving rashly, but people who are confident and self-assured tend to know what they want.

  1. Work on your posture. 

Your mom probably told you when you were a kid to stop slouching and she was right. When you stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head held high, the impression you

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Don’t worry about anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your best friend is getting engaged or your neighbor just got a promotion at work?Dwelling on what others have achieved isn’t going to help you feel good about yourself, nor is it going to help you get ahead.

  1. Do things alone. 

It’s easy to feel sure of yourself when you’re out with a group of people or a boyfriend or girlfriend. But doing things alone can leave you feeling outside of your comfort zone. Try doing things alone every now and then to cultivate your sense of confidence.

  1. Practice meditation. 

By making your mind still, you can filter out defeating thoughts which can contribute to low self-esteem. Twenty minutes twice a day can have a profound effect on your confidence.

  1. Exchange online social networking for face-to-face social networking.

Do you spend hours clicking through photos of your “friends,” analyzing their outfits or who they’ve been clicked with? Instead of wasting your time online, why not get out and socialize yourself? Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you to feel more confident about yourself.

  1. Make eye contact.

Confident people aren’t afraid to make eye contact. When you’re talking to someone, practice staring that person straight in the eyes. You’ll give off the impression that you’re sure of yourself, confident, and intelligent.

  1. Dress your best.

If you feel good in whatever you’re wearing, you’re more likely to convey that message to others, too. Instead of going out in your old pair of sweatpants, put some effort into your appearance each time you leave the house. You’ll find that spending just a few minutes on your outfit will help you to step out with confidence.

  1. Feel wealthy.

Take the time to remind yourself of all you have. You may not be the richest, the most successful, the prettiest or the smartest but isn’t it better to just be yourself? When you appreciate the blessings you do have and stop being in a state of wanting, you don’t need to feel down about what you don’t have.

Start with these 10 steps and let me know how you feel

7 Tips To Make 2020 A Great Year!

As we enter into not just a new year but a new decade, it’s a great time to pause on all the distractions and create a window of time to get very clear about your year and decade ahead. One of my favourite Sanskrit phrases is ‘yad bhavam tat bhavati’ which means what we think we become. It all starts here, with the thought, the intention and the vision. Then the manifestation of that thought into reality is what follows.

Making 2020 a great year is going to require some planning AND action. I like to put aside a morning or afternoon to dedicate some time solely to laying out my vision for the year ahead and getting clear on how I would like that year to unfold. It’s a process that requires a few stages so I have outlined 7 tips on how to create a magnificent 2020.

1. OBSERVE. Observe 2019 and ask what would you have changed about it? Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So if there are things that you didn’t like in 2019, and you don’t assess them and use that information to create change, then it could well be that similar experiences will re-occur in 2020. So scan back through the year and pinpoint the experiences or results that you would like to address or change so that they don’t reappear in the following year. Now I need to make a point here that this is not to look back with regret, pain, shame or suffering, rather look back from a place of learning, growth and possibility.

2. GOALS. Write down what your BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL is for 2020. This is the one big thing that you would like to see happen by the end of 2020. It will be the one thing that in December 2020 you will be able to say, “YES! I did it!!” and possibly even do a fist pump at the same time having known you really stepped up and achieved something that was a great accomplishment! Think BIG!

3. FEEL IT. Feel like it’s already happened. To attract what you want, you need to be energetically aligned to the thing that you are attracting. So if you want to attract abundance, you will need to stop feeling poor. If you want to be in a loving relationship, then start by being loving. Your feelings are like a wifi signal that emit out into the ether and it draws into you similar energies or vibrations. This is one of the more challenging aspects of this process because generally our feelings are a result of our past experiences and if we haven’t had the experience then how do we know what it feels like? This is where your imagination will have to come in. I had a client who wanted to buy a house in a beachside town. They loved the idea but never imagined it would ever come true. I had them everyday imagine they walked from their home to the beach each morning and felt the sand between their toes and the sun on their skin and the sea breeze in their face. And within a year they had bought their home by the sea and were living that reality. We were given an imagination for a reason!

4. PLAN. Time can fly by and before you know it very little has been done to manifest your new reality. Each week you will have to carve out some time to make sure that your vision actually goes from a thought to a reality. I like to print off a weekly calendar and highlight the times that I will be dedicating to enhance certain areas of my life and also to assess my goals and check they are still on track. This can look like blocking out 3 mornings a week for a gym workout or yoga class. Sunday nights might be a 1-hour vision assessment session. Monday evening could be dedicated to going through your banking, bills and finances. Once you segment and allocate the time for these things it takes the stress out of having to get around to doing them and also brings more order to your process of achieving your goals.

5. READ. There are thousands of great self-help books to help you continue to expand your thinking and keep it positive and productive. Where your attention goes it grows. So if your mind is engaged in a positive self-help book it will be upgrading your thoughts a whole lot more than a trashy Netflix series. You could pick 12 books that you want to read that year and aim for one a month. Some suggestions to get you started are: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra and The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles.

6. MEDITATE. One of the most important things I feel you could do if you aren’t already doing it is meditate everyday. Meditation contributes to every area of your life from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. But when it comes to expanding your perspective of who you are and what’s possible for in 2020, then meditation will play a big part. When you meditate your mind liberates itself from deep conditioning of old patterns of thinking that can hold you back with self-doubt and unworthiness. In meditation you may experience impulses of creativity and bursts of ideas that flow through you. Things like writing a book, a business idea or an impulse for an investment. Meditation isn’t about renouncing the world and having nothing, it’s a tool to help you tap into your creative potential and live a full life.

7. ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. Find yourself an accountability partner who will check in with you regularly to make sure you are on track. It’s very easy to start on January 1st, 2020 with all the best intentions. Ideas are easy. Action, that’s another thing altogether. Action takes time and effort. To create a great successful life we will have to do things that you simply won’t feel compelled to do which means that often you will naturally take the easiest option which won’t always be the best option. An accountability partner is someone that you could meet once a month and assess each other’s progress. This might sound laborious however it does have huge benefits to it. Another option is to find a good coach that will do this job for you.

So here we are, we have farewelled 2019 and embracing a new year. A year that will have twists and turns, unmet expectations, highs and lows. It won’t be perfect and it will present challenges. There will also be magical moments of such beauty, simplicity and joy. I wish you a wonderful year ahead. Thanks for being with us on this journey through 2019. Here’s to making the planet a better place to live for all species in 2020.

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If you are feeling like you need a break from the busy-ness of life in 2020, then you might like to join us in Bali in May. This 6-day retreat in the rainforests of Bali will leave you feeling revitalised, uplifted and clear on your goals in life. It’s a powerful experience that incorporates yoga, breathwork, meditation and breakthrough sessions to help you reconnect with your most remarkable Self. Find out more by clicking here.

How To Give And Not Make A Mess

Are you one of those people that feels really uncomfortable when a friend pays for your meal?

Do you feel a sense of embarrassment when you are given a generous gift?

Do you squirm and feel uneasy when you’ve been given a glowing compliment?

Maybe you would much rather be the one that is giving, then you could avoid any of these unpleasant sensations?

It’s that special time of year when we do a lot of giving. For some people, they just LOVE giving. There are people like my parents, who most of their lives have given SO much to their family, the local church, the school and the community as a whole. It’s almost endless how much they give. This is a wonderful quality, however it can come with a downside also. Firstly, we can give too much, which sounds crazy, but giving too much can make others feel uncomfortable. Then there is giving and not being able to receive, which leads to an imbalance and state of depletion.

We are being saturated on social media by the likes of Gary Vee as to why it’s so important that we give, give and give more. ‘Be of service’ is the latest mantra being flogged to us time and time again. Which is all great, and yes it’s something that the world needs more of after we’d had a very ‘ME’ oriented society for so long.  However when it is done without balance and awareness, it leaves us flat stoney broke, depressed, low in energy and a lot of recipients of our giving overwhelmed.

Giving and receiving is an art form that requires a degree of mindfulness…one that I’m still learning. There needs to be a balance of knowing how much to give, and when to receive. We can give in many ways, like giving praise, the emojis at the end of our text messages, being of service with our time, sharing our money, imparting our knowledge, showering people with our affection and offering gifts. You’d think yes, just give, give, give. But it’s not that simple.

There are times when I have given too much affection, too much of my time, too many compliments or even too much knowledge, and it’s like overfilling a container, it gets messy and uncomfortable. If someone was to hold out a glass and asked you to fill it up, and you just kept pouring over the brim because you have so much to give, things would not only get messy, you’d most likely upset the person who held out their glass! Giving makes us feel good, which is why we do it…but there are a few other factors that need to be taken into account when we do this.

It is not what we are willing to give to people that’s important, it’s what they are capable of receiving. Understanding the recipients need is critical in knowing how much to give. This applies to emojis, affection, knowledge or anything else that we are giving. When we give too much, it leaves the other person feeling awkward, uncomfortable or overwhelmed, which in the end defeats the purpose of giving, right? Who would have thought the simple act of giving would be so complex?

Then there is the art of receiving. If we like to give, and yet we aren’t very good at receiving, then we are doing two things, firstly depleting ourselves of energy, time and money and secondly, we are depriving those people that also like to give the ability to experience that joy also. Receiving isn’t a natural trait for many of us. We can be programmed with a sense of unworthiness or poverty mindset, and receiving compliments, money, love, or affection can be incongruent with our ingrained belief systems which in the end causes us to feel uncomfortable. Learning to receive may require a process of over-ride deep conditioning through meditation and affirmations. What we can do is explore deeply within us and ask ourselves what program are we operating with? Then set about daily to not only shift these old thought patterns bit old feelings also. If you are always feeling poor or stressed about money, then this vibration will continue to manifest through your life and your decisions will be influenced by this inner feeling. So we have to take time out each day and get into this feeling and thinking body and work at shifting it to one of abundance and security, knowing that we will be supported and provided for. The Universe is infinitely abundant. So when someone showers us with any abundance we open our arms with gratitude and say ‘YES’ and THANK YOU’.

Giving and receiving is a delicate process that isn’t black and white, it’s a variable for each person and each situation, like walking a tightrope. Finding that balance is something we have to feel out. Some people hold out a big container and say, yes, fill it up, I’m open to receiving! Whereas others might hold out a tiny thimble and ask for a small morsel, and others might not be holding up anything at all.

How do we get this right every time? We won’t, but being a little more mindful through the process will go along way. It’s a work in progress and a balancing act that evolves over time.

Happy Festive season and may you give and receive joyfully!

                                                                  __________________________
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A Guide To Protect Yourself From The Stresses Of Those Around You

If you’re an empathetic person you’re probably having a tough time of late. A recent Gallup poll that surveyed 155,000 people in 140 different countries revealed that we are becoming sadder and angrier than ever before. This isn’t great for society and it isn’t great for empathetic people either. Being sensitive to the feelings of others and really feeling their pain, sounds like an honourable thing, but geez, it’s can be uncomfortable, and at times debilitating. Which begs us to ask the question, is empathy a good thing? If we experience the feeling of pain when others are in pain then aren’t we self-perpetuating more pain?

This is where compassion comes in. Compassion is where we understand that someone is in pain, and we feel love for that person or people, and our energy level doesn’t deteriorate. Compassion isn’t an emotion, it’s a state. Emotions are when we react to other people and circumstances. Compassion is a state that holds itself regardless of how someone else is feeling. Empathy is when you feel someone’s pain; compassion is when you feel love for someone in pain. It’s easy for us to sit and suffer alongside those that are suffering, in fact, it’s almost expected of us through our conditioning. Quite often the person in pain will want their partner or friend to also feel their pain so that there is a better connection. However, does that really help the healing, and support progress out of that state for all involved? Could Mother Theresa or Fred Hollows have done their work if they were emotionally affected each day by the people they cared for?

Compassion and empathy are very close to each other; they are both a sense of awareness about others and their state of well-being. But for empaths, one thing we have to be careful about is how much we allow that to deteriorate our own state. This requires mindfulness and practice to simply hold space for that person or group of people, to acknowledge where they are, and with grace, love and warmth, simply be there for them. This then becomes a guiding light and foundation of support for them, to release what needs to release, to feel what they need to feel, and be ok knowing its not causing suffering for you also. On the flip side, when its our turn to go through a challenging time, (and they will surely come), knowing we can lean on solid, unwavering support, someone who is going to be able to hold space for us and not fill us with guilt that we have turned their life into emotional turmoil, will be a welcome relief.

So how do we switch empathy to compassion? This is a process that requires some initial practise until you become more skilled in it if it’s not something you are familiar with. Check in with what your feeling body (read emotional state) is doing and mindfully elevate it to love. Love is the quality and essence of compassion. So pause and ask yourself, am I being pulled into their energetic frequency? Am I synching into their emotional state? Then from that unemotional place of pure love, simply Be there. Just Be. Give yourself the right to just Be. It will, in the end, be better for you and your health, and more importantly, be better for them also.

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Tom is a meditation teacher, author, speaker, coach and filmmaker. To leaern to meditate with Tom or attend one of his retreats head to https://www.tomcronin.com/. To find out where to see his film The Portal or how to host a screening yourself, head to https://entertheportal.com/

10 Tips To Break Your Phone Addiction

How’s your relationship with your phone? Are you two inseparable? Is it on you every minute of the day? Lately my phone has been making serious in-roads into my life, to the point where I was responding to it every minute of the day. Voxer, SMS, Whatsapp, Messenger, Emails, Instagram, Linkedin, and phone calls. It didn’t stop, I was losing control of my life to my phone. And lately wherever I go, I have been noticing how everyone else is on their phones as well…all the time!

For that reason, I had to set some very clear boundaries so that my phone no longer controlled my life. I found that once I set these boundaries, I felt less agitated and less hyper-stimulated. It made a big difference to my day. We are in unchartered waters now, in the history of human evolution we have never been so exposed to anything like this. Just get a train to the city at peak hour in the morning and have a look around. It will be very rare to find someone not engaged in their phone in some way.

I didn’t want to be owned like this by my phone, so I set to map out ways I could live more freely from my phone and here I share with you the 10 steps that I took to try to take back the power from my phone. Now admittedly, these are my preferences, and sometimes I struggle to stick to them!!

1. Avoid the phone while I am eating. I found eating and being on my phone highly distracting from my ability to enjoy my food. It was like eating was ‘just something you do’ rather than a special part of my day to relish the sensory delights and nourish myself for sustenance. So now eating is for eating!
2. Avoid the phone for the first hour in the morning. I found myself waking up and falling into the void of everyone else thinking processes by reading feeds, messages, and news items. I wanted to start my day with greater clarity and stillness so now my day starts with meditation to create space then visualisation, gratitude, and intention setting. It’s not until after this is done, that I will check my overnight messages.
3. Avoid the phone 30 minutes (ideally one hour) before bedtime. Rather than ending my day with some low-grade news feeds or Instagram posts of people’s cappuccinos, I like to finish my day now with some stretching, and reading deep spiritual and transformational books before I drift off to sleep. These leaves my mind in a positive framework that helps me set up the next day ahead.
4. Don’t read or text on my phone while walking. I found that while I was walking and texting or walking and reading on my phone, my nervous system would get over-stimulated and I felt uncomfortable. So now if I have to respond to something on my phone while walking I will stop and pause to send the message, and then keep walking.
5. Turn my phone on airplane mode or silent while driving. I found myself responding to messages at red traffic lights (shhh!) and I was always feeling a sense of haste trying to squeeze everything in during those small windows at traffic lights. So once I made the decision to turn my phone off in the car I was much more at ease with the drive and yes, also driving legally!
6. Turn my phone on airplane mode at night time while sleeping. It’s been proven that your phone is emitting radiation. Even just the thought of my phone being on in the house while sleeping left me uncomfortable. So every night now I turn my phone onto airplane mode.
7. Turn my Wi-Fi off in your house at night time while sleeping. When we sleep we open ourselves up to frequencies around us. Knowing that there is a black box in our home sending out an entire web of information isn’t something that I wanted to expose myself to so we now turn that off every night before bed.
8. Don’t take my phone into the gym. Ok so I’m sure many people like to listen to music or podcasts at the gym but I found that I was getting work messages and responding to them while I was at the gym so now I prefer to work out without my phone, and keep my workouts separate from my work!
9. Avoid double screening by leaving my phone off while watching TV. I used to have my phone with me everywhere I went, which meant it was on me while I watch TV with my family. If it buzzed or a message came through I would immediately answer it. Not only distracting me from my family time but also from the TV show. Now I leave my phone off or in another room so that for that window of time I am not distracted.
10. Block out time in my day to check my phone and respond to messages. By now you are probably wondering how I will ever respond to my messages on my phone. What I do is a blackout periods of time to get through things that need to get done. So the end of the meeting when I get to my car I’ll sit in my car before driving off and respond to any messages that have come through. And I do these in stages throughout the day so I’m compartmentalizing the time on my phone and not always responding to it. This way I’m empowered and not giving my power to my phone.

So like I said, these are my preferences and sometimes I bend these rules, but they are a useful guide to help me be less controlled by my phone and live a more balanced, calmer life. Do you have any other suggestions that might help our readers with their phones? Please share below.

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Tom is a meditation teacher, speaker, personal coach, and producer and co-writer of the film and book The Portal!

A unique cinematic experience created to inspire humankind into a new era, THE PORTAL is about the ability for inner change to bring about a powerful planetary shift.

Exploring the role crisis plays in our evolution—and the mental programs we’re born into—this experiential documentary brings to life the stories of six people who have used stillness and mindfulness to move beyond trauma.

To find out where you can watch the film or read the book click here. 

My Son Stopped Me In My Tracks With This Comment

I returned home from yoga as you do on a Saturday morning and commented to my family as I walked in the front door that it was a glorious perfect day outside! To which my son replied, “No it’s not Dad, it would be perfect if it was raining!” He had a very valid point and he was thinking very differently to me. I was thinking about myself and how lucky we were to have such a beautiful day, where he was thinking about the needs of the planet where. Here we were one hand the middle of winter with clear blue skies, 25°C, and I was swimming in the ocean. What bliss! But on the other hand here we were in the middle of a drought, we have ice caps melting, and rainforests burning. For the rest of the day I had mixed emotions, I knew that this glorious day that I was experiencing here in Sydney was partly a result of the planet cooking and us humans were turning up the dial on the hotplate.

It’s completely undeniable now that things are deteriorating environmentally on our planet and the ability to correct this anomaly is getting slimmer and slimmer. I know many of us experience some level of futility and frustration at not knowing what we can do to bring about change but I also think if we all collectively made a number of minor changes in the way we live our life that we could have a huge impact and make things a whole lot better.

So I have outlined a few things that I feel that if we tweak our lives a little bit, the compounding effect of that could be quite substantial. Now admittedly some of these things go against the grain of how we’ve been programmed by deeply condition systems. The main one of these systems is the system built on spending more money. The entire economic and capitalistic system requires us to keep spending more money which means buying more things, so we have more successful businesses. Anyone in economics will agree that this is what’s required to keep the economic system flourishing. This is one of the systems that is deeply flawed because not only is it leading to environmental disaster is also keeping us completely trapped in a debt spiral that is seeing the banks make more money than they have ever made before and more of the world’s population chained to more debt than we’ve ever seen in the history of humankind.

So here are a few ways we can transcend the system and makes some minor changes that collectively will make huge differences:

1. Buy fewer clothes. Do we really need the copious amounts of clothes in our wardrobe that we need to change every season as a new style comes out? This is something I’ve been exploring a lot more lately, and I’m taking a bit more of a Steve Jobs approach by wearing the same clothes over and over again. I’ve even realised that as some of the fashions have changed I was able to take some of those clothes to a tailor and have them adjusted so they still would look wearable with the current trends. I’ve also got in the habit of repairing my clothes when they have holes in things in them. I was about to throw out some old jeans because they have holes in them and then recalled that when we were kids my mother would always stitch holes in our socks and jumpers to get a few more years out of them. I took them to a seamstress and she has patched them up and I reckon there’s another 5 years left in them!

2. Fly less. Now I’m going to be very hypocritical here because I’m about to go on a substantial tour flying across Australia, America and Europe for my film and book The Portal https://entertheportal.com/ that is coming out soon. This does challenge me because I know the impact those flights have on the environment is quite significant. There are some ways to navigate this by offsetting my flights by buying carbon credits, which gives me a little bit of peace of mind. I can’t help but look at my Instagram feed this time of year and noticed how many people are posting photos of their holidays from Bali, Greece and the likes of Spain. Flying is one of the biggest contributors to greenhouse gas emissions and I think we need to start thinking more about this extravagance of holidaying all over the world until we find a better solution for the impact that those flights are having on our environment. Hopefully in the future will have another form of travel that won’t be so impractical on the environment but in the meantime if we are flying, buying carbon credits might help?

3. Eat less red meat. One of the main causes of the burning of the Amazon rainforest is farmers needing more land to grow cows for meat. The meat consumption on the planet is higher than it’s ever been before which is leading to not only a rapid deterioration of rainforests but also huge increase in the methane gas emissions cause by cattle. If you are a meat eater perhaps consider eating more fish or chicken and reduce red meat intake.

4. Buy fewer products packed in plastic. Recently I noticed how many shampoo and conditioner containers we had in our bathroom. And I started to think about how many households will be in the same situation across the world. And this is just shampoo and conditioner! So I went down to my local wholesale grocer that sells bulk grains, legumes and herbs and spices, and noticed that they are now also supplying things like shampoos and conditioners in bulk. I was excited by this and realised that we can now just have one bottle for each and top them up regularly from large containers in the store. We’ve also resorted to buying as much produce as possible from our local growers market and find as many ways as possible to do grocery shopping that doesn’t include using things packaged in plastic. It’s become a bit of a playful game in which everyone wins.

5. Use solar energy for our houses and cars. I’m only renting currently and so our house doesn’t have solar panels even though we requested it with our landlord. But in our future house ideally it will be completely solar efficient and having spoken to some solar panel installers, I’ve been told that it costs less to install solar panels than the current energy costs of our house. My ideal situation would be to have a house that was 100% solar energy that also fuels my car. This is neither complex nor difficult, the technology and capability is available right now and it’s a direction we should all be moving in as fast as possible.

These aren’t massive changes but admittedly they do take time to implement and some of these I’m guilty for not following my suggestions entirely. But I realise that just these five changes alone, if everyone were to make them, it would have a huge effect on the planet. Of course there are so many other ways that we can make a positive impact, but these five stood out to me. Perhaps you have some suggestions? Please share them below. I just don’t think we’re going to be able to get governments, industry and the system itself to make the changes and it really is just going to come down to individuals like you and me to start making different decisions. Let’s hope we make these changes fast enough to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

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To exlore some of these ideas further you might like to read my latest film and book The Portal that was created to inspire humankind into a new era and is about the ability for inner change to bring about a powerful planetary shift.

Exploring the role crisis plays in our evolution—and the mental programs we’re born into—this experiential film and book bring to life the stories of six people who have used stillness and mindfulness to move beyond trauma.

An unusual blend of technology, love, human potential, philosophy, brain hacking, stillness and inner peace, THE PORTAL is a film and book that humanity needs Right Now.

You can find out more here!

Letting Go Of Looking For Your Life Purpose

Summary:

There is so much emphasis on needing to know your life purpose lately, with seminars, conferences and Instagram posts talking about why you need to find your life purpose! Many clients come to me confused, frustrated and challenged that they don’t know what their purpose is and ask if I can help them ‘find their life purpose’.

In short…NO, I can’t. And the good news is if it hasn’t dawned on you what your purpose is yet, then just get on with living and take life day by day. That’s all you need to do. Keep it simple and let go of the idea that you might ever find your life purpose…just living is simply enough.

What’s Next?

  • My book that I co-wrote with Jacqui Fifer is now out! The Portal- How Meditation Can Save The World explores how meditation and mindfulness will unlock your power, grow your compassion for those around you and awaken your thirst for change. Sharing personal stories from six people who healed their lives through meditation as well as compelling insights from some of today’s most innovative thinkers, The Portal shares a powerful vision for humanity transformed. Order it now and get your bonuses here!
  • My fortnightly coaching group Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership is open for registration. Are you feeling compelled to be a zen leader in today’s complex world? Book your free consult here. 
  • BALI RETREAT! One of the most transformational experiences you will ever have. This 6-day yoga and meditation immersion will leave you feeling on a high and clear about the life you want and can live! Book here

Why These 4 Woo-Woo Phrases Are Causing Confusion

This article was inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine who recently commented on a situation by saying “Well Tom, everything is perfect”. I stopped to contemplate this for a moment noticing a misalignment with that comment of his. It was such a simple statement and one we see daily on Instagram posts but I couldn’t let this one pass. No, everything isn’t perfect! Then I started to think about all the other ‘spiritual, woo-woo’ comments that have started seeping into our mainstream language and felt it might be time to clear some things up about them.

A lot of what we say and do gets programmed into us and quite often we find ourselves being molded by a collective movement of thinking, speaking and acting in a particular way. Before long we just naturally use phrases and terms without even thinking about them as they become part of our psychology. Off-the-cuff phrases and terms start to get deeply embedded into our society without us really contemplating the meaning of them at a deeper level. Some of these phrases can cause conflict or confusion in people and for this reason, I thought it important to share with you four phrases that I’ve noticed seeping into our society that need to be cleared up and possibly even removed from our daily language.

1. There is only the now.
I was once approached by a company wanting me to promote a watch they made that just had ‘NOW’ written across it, with no time. Very cute yeh, but I’m not sure how this would work when needing to schedule my meetings and workshops 🙂 Yes in each and every moment there is the present, however, we also have the past and the future which are an integral part of the evolutionary process. When the universe exploded from the ball of energy the size of an acorn, in that instant, time, space and matter were all created. Time is an essential part of that because it allowed a sequence to unfold and the game of life could then be played. The past plays an integral role in the process of evolution. For instance, if I put my hand on the hotplate on the stove and burn it, my ability to remember the pain of that experience guides me and reminds me not to do it again. Thank goodness for the past and our ability to remember! We also have a future, and I have the ability in this moment to create intentions, plans, and a roadmap for me to manifest in that future space. Our future is molded by our present thoughts and actions and therefore is also part of our reality. All three, past, present and future, need to be integrated into life and play a relevant role in our existence.

2. Everything is perfect.
Once upon a time there was only perfection in the form of an acorn size ball of pure energy. However, the perfection sought an experience other than itself and broke the symmetry to create imperfection and the Universe was born. Everything within the Universe became the antithesis of that perfection. Everything had the quality of imperfection. The oceans are imperfect as fish consume huge amounts of plastic, there are children starving in the world right now, there are women being abused, there are child sex slaves being trafficked, there are tribes going to war and yes, my car is imperfect, (there is a rattle in the right-hand door). All of this is imperfect. To say that everything is perfect is a loose statement that ignores the fundamental nature of the universe being manifest in its imperfect state. And although we will never get it to perfection we’re in the process of ironing out those creases. This is the sequence of evolution.

3. You are limitless/You have limitless potential.
Although this is a beautiful and inspiring statement, and at the subtlest level yes, beyond all forms there is the limitlessness of Being, yet this gets confusing for many people because it’s conflicting with what really is true. As a human being, we aren’t limitless and we don’t have limitless potential. I see many conventions and coaches talk about ‘your limitless potential’. This can lead many people to become disheartened as they continuously get let down by the limitations of life. If I ask you to jump 10 feet in the air you won’t be able to do that, if I ask you to manifest $500,000 in front of me you also won’t be able to do that and if your parents get terminally sick, you won’t be able to heal them. What’s important is we get very clear on what this statement means. There is an aspect of limitlessness within the universe which you are a part of and it is beyond form and beyond phenomenon. However, within our mind and body dimensions, we are contained and face many limits. Learning how to function within those limits, and embrace those limits will help us to be more accepting of life.

4. It happened for a reason.
When certain challenging events happen in our lives I often hear people going into deep philosophical questioning as to why that experience happened. And although we can learn something from every experience, there are some events that happened randomly and by sheer accident, and how we deal with that event is up to us. Floating around in the universe are trillions of objects like suns, planets, meteorites, moons, cars, humans, animals, ants etc. Some of these will collide by accident. Every now and then while you’re walking on the footpath or driving your car, there’s a good chance you’ve have hit a moth or trodden on an ant, causing a cataclysmic event in that insect’s life. Most likely the family members of that insect won’t be dissecting the experience going into the deep discussion as to why this happened. It just happened. We’ve started to make life very complex by having to have a deep spiritual understanding as to why every event has occurred when we can simplify things by just simply looking at the event and going yes it happened.

A recent report was published by Gallop that revealed that we are becoming angrier, sadder and more anxious and some of this might be caused by our incredibly high expectations that we are putting on ourselves to be spiritually perfect and reach a level of affluence that is way beyond our capacity. Yes we do have potential, yes we do have the capacity to make a comfortable life for ourselves, but let’s also be grounded and grateful for the current experience and accepting of the limitations of life.

You might know of some other woo-woo phrases that have seeped into our daily language that are causing confusion in people. Please feel free to share them below as I’m sure there are heaps more out there!

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Tom is the producer and co-writer of the film and book THE PORTAL, which is an experiential documentary created as part of a bold, global vision to shift humanity out of a state of crisis. To watch the trailer and find out more about this project click here.

 

 

How To Find Your Life Purpose

During a recent coaching call, one of our Zen Academy members had a perplexed look on her face.
“Why are you looking so confused? What’s troubling you?” I asked.
“I literally I have no idea what my life purpose is? I just don’t know what I am supposed to be doing,” she responded in an exasperated manner.

You may also feel that lost sense of not knowing where or ‘what’ you are meant to be doing right now. It’s a dilemma many of us face, one I have been through myself. So many people are on the treadmill, feeling lost, turning up to an uninspiring job each day then coming home to watch Netflix. It’s very rare to find someone that is truly passionate about what that are doing and are really clear about their life purpose.

There is a way through this stage though, and I find it’s about stripping back to simplicity, and not over thinking it. In fact, the solution I feel is completely opposite to thinking, it’s BEING. But we will get to that in a minute.

Finding your life purpose doesn’t mean you have to go and quit your job, join a charity or go live in an ashram. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, finding life purpose and Self-Realisation comes way after the base needs of financial security and shelter. So being broke and not having a home to live in isn’t a good base for finding your life purpose. So regardless if your job is fulfilling or not, foregoing financial stability to find a life purpose isn’t a path that I would recommend. Stay in your job for now because this isn’t about what work you are doing it’s about how awake and aware you are.

Our primary life purpose is to discover our inner being. Over everything else, this is our number one purpose. We go through life very distracted by and attracted to the outer world, the world of ‘getting things’ and ‘having experiences’. This outcome oriented source of fulfilment is so compelling and luring that we tend to ignore the inner world of Being, which is very subtle. Being is the inner silence, it’s the source of wisdom, it’s the source of love and it’s Light. It’s eternal, it’s unshaken and it’s divinely blissful. It is also ever-present, only it is easily overshadowed by a thinking mind and feeling body. So for most of us the state of our inner being is ignored and undiscovered.

There are many ways to connect to this state of Being and I find meditation to be the most accessible for me. In meditation, we transcend the limits of physical and mental form and connect to the quiet of Being. With regular daily practice this awareness of Being and Presence will stabilise more and more. Once this becomes more established in our experience of daily life, then you will start to get impulses or cognitions that will compel you to express that wisdom, love and light in some way shape or form. It won’t come as a desire, rather more of a creative impulse that you will spontaneously act on.

So if there is no clear direction for you to express yourself through a life purpose, then keep connecting to the inner being in your daily meditation, go about your day with your job or what other activities that you are doing, and in time the impulse will come. It might be to write a book, become a nurse, do yoga teacher training, make a film (think long and hard about this one, it was much harder than I thought!!!) or it might even be that you join an ashram and meditate all day. There’s no right or wrong and after a while of that you may get another impulse to express Being in some other way. It will be a natural flow.

This is the greatest gift that we can give to the world- for you to simply transform from a stressed anxious angry person to someone stabilised in Being and feeling light and loving. This is your number one purpose to start with. Upon sharing that with our Zen Academy member on the fortnightly call, I could see a huge weight lift off her and she smiled and felt much lighter. All the complexity had melted away and simplicity remained.

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The Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership is a fortnightly coaching program for people who are ready to go out into the world and be a conscious leader. These sessions aren’t for everyone, they are for people who are open to diving deep into spiritual discussion regularly, are ready to take action when the impulse arises and are willing to make a financial commitment to be a part of this. To find out how you can join in on these fortnightly coaching calls click this link here and book in for a one on one call with Tom.

Why My 16 Yr Old Son Skipped School And I Was Ok With It

Friday morning at breakfast and my 16-year-old son tells me he isn’t going to school today. “Something much more important has come up” he tells me. He’s marching in the city with 40,000 other kids to help the government wake up to the climate crisis that’s unfolding before their eyes. “The thing is Dad, the 60 year olds in government don’t care that much, they know they won’t be here for another 50-70 years, but we will. We have to live with this and they don’t!”

What moved me about yesterday’s march was the genuine level of passion and integrity behind the voice of these youths. This was not a day to skip school… this was a day to make change. They really are concerned for the future of this planet.

But another question was asked at breakfast, by his sister, who asked us all: “Do you really think it will make a difference?” This wasn’t asked in a negative futile way, more at a deep level of enquiry as to what needs to be done to make a change for the better.

The beauty of democracy is that a government will make most of its policies on the need to win 51% of the countries vote to retain power. The challenge with democracy is that if that 51% of that country have a mindset that isn’t progressive and for the enhancement of society or the planet, then that will influence the government’s policy. So as much as the march was for the government, it was also to help sway more people to join in the movement for change.

I often struggle with my own impact on climate change. I recycle my paper and plastic, I pick up plastic when I’m at the beach and turn off the lights to save electricity where possible. But as most people feel, it’s so far out of our reach that we feel helpless. I feel that the immediacy of the need for change has to come from the top down AND bottom up.

Governments can influence policy when it has the courage to do so. Last December, Paris, Madrid, Athens and Mexico City said they would remove diesel cars and vans by 2025 with all of Norway to phase out conventional cars by 2025 also. So yes things like this can be done when governments are willing to implement policy over big business.

But what about from the bottom up, i.e. the grass roots of society? This will require more than recycling our newspapers and plastic cups. It’s going to require a complete shift from a consumeristic “need more to be happy” mind set. It will only come when we transcend the programming that getting new things will make us happier. It’s been proven through numerous studies that prioritising our extrinsic values over intrinsic values will NOT make us happier. What this means is that if we feel we will be happier when we get more clothes after excitedly purchasing them from an online store and having them arrive in the mail at our doorstep, then think again. Studies prove this is not the case. If we think we will be happier when we get the latest sofas and rugs delivered from IKEA because we were tired of the old ones, then think again. Studies prove this is not the case.

As long as we have a yearning to have more so that we can be happier, then we will continue on this path of deteriorating conditions. Living from a state of lack, with a sense that there is a hole to be filled by acquiring ‘items’ is a big part of what is driving our climate crisis. This will change when we are fulfilled more from the inside. How do we do that? By assessing what our intrinsic values are and then putting more attention on them. Intrinsic values are what it sounds like, they come from within.
Some intrinsic values are:
• A sense of purpose
• Loving relationships
• Having a sense of inner fulfilment
• A state of calm
• A connection to the Divine or God
• Gratitude

When we have an increase in our intrinsic values then we will be less geared to seek fulfilment through external ways and if this happens in a scaleable way, then we will start to see significant change to the way humans impact the planet. When we combine that with change from the people at the top like governments and corporations, then we really might start to see some big changes! Sounds promising right?

 

Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and personal coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in his Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. To contact Tom about receiving his guidance or booking him to speak at your company click here