10 Steps To Build Your Confidence


Are you looking for confidence builders that really work? Confidence is a tool that can help you to overcome obstacles and leave a lasting impression. And the best part about confidence is that it rubs off on others. When you’re confident about what you’re saying or doing, you’ll come off as intelligent, successful, capable and even desirable. Confident people have no trouble attracting others.

Of course, even people who are regularly confident experience spells of low self-esteem or insecurity. The important thing to remember is that if you find yourself feeling unusually down, it doesn’t take much to give your confidence level a boost.

The following confidence builders can help you stay steady and self-assured:

  1. Peel yourself away from the mirror. 

Yes, you should devote some time each day to your appearance, but once you’re ready, let that be the end of it. Most of us have difficulty staying away from mirrors when we encounter them in elevators or bathrooms, but the less time you spend agonizing over every detail of your appearance, the happier you’ll be.

  1. Stand behind your decisions. 

Instead of hemming and hawing over miniscule decisions or jumping back and forth trying to decide what to do, try making a decision and going with it. This doesn’t mean you should start behaving rashly, but people who are confident and self-assured tend to know what they want.

  1. Work on your posture. 

Your mom probably told you when you were a kid to stop slouching and she was right. When you stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head held high, the impression you

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Don’t worry about anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your best friend is getting engaged or your neighbor just got a promotion at work?Dwelling on what others have achieved isn’t going to help you feel good about yourself, nor is it going to help you get ahead.

  1. Do things alone. 

It’s easy to feel sure of yourself when you’re out with a group of people or a boyfriend or girlfriend. But doing things alone can leave you feeling outside of your comfort zone. Try doing things alone every now and then to cultivate your sense of confidence.

  1. Practice meditation. 

By making your mind still, you can filter out defeating thoughts which can contribute to low self-esteem. Twenty minutes twice a day can have a profound effect on your confidence.

  1. Exchange online social networking for face-to-face social networking.

Do you spend hours clicking through photos of your “friends,” analyzing their outfits or who they’ve been clicked with? Instead of wasting your time online, why not get out and socialize yourself? Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you to feel more confident about yourself.

  1. Make eye contact.

Confident people aren’t afraid to make eye contact. When you’re talking to someone, practice staring that person straight in the eyes. You’ll give off the impression that you’re sure of yourself, confident, and intelligent.

  1. Dress your best.

If you feel good in whatever you’re wearing, you’re more likely to convey that message to others, too. Instead of going out in your old pair of sweatpants, put some effort into your appearance each time you leave the house. You’ll find that spending just a few minutes on your outfit will help you to step out with confidence.

  1. Feel wealthy.

Take the time to remind yourself of all you have. You may not be the richest, the most successful, the prettiest or the smartest but isn’t it better to just be yourself? When you appreciate the blessings you do have and stop being in a state of wanting, you don’t need to feel down about what you don’t have.

Start with these 10 steps and let me know how you feel

How To Find The Confidence To Speak In Front Of 300 People

public_speaking_stage_womanHow do you feel about getting up on stage and speaking in front of 300 people? Would you get a knot in your stomach? How about the sickening feeling of nausea, dry mouth and sweaty palms? Would your heart start pulsing faster as the fight-flight kicks in??
It’s hard to not have noticed the plethora of self-confidence articles and social media memes that have been posted up on the Internet in the last few years. Adding to these are numerous self-confidence boosting seminars and online programs to help you ‘overcome your fears’, step on the stage and find your voice. It has been suggested that speaking on stage is one of the greatest fears we can face in life. I definitely know. Years ago I would stutter and stammer, go bright red in the face and have a near panic attack if I was asked to speak in front of 3 people!

These days I feel comfortable stepping onstage in front of 300-500 people (although yes there may still be a little flutter inside) but the fear has reduced dramatically. What has changed? Most self-confidence boosting courses and confidence coaching is focussed on building up your ego so you will feel courageous about the confronting situation. In this article however, I will be taking a very different approach. This is not about building up your ego so that it’s bigger than the fear; rather it’s the complete opposite. Our goal here is not to strive for a bigger ego.

True confidence as opposed to self-confidence, is when we reduce and even eradicate the ego. Ideally to the point where there is no more ego. When there is no ego, there is no fear. Fear is only experienced by the ego. If there is no fear, then we are free to BE our true Self.

A very shy friend of mine would criticise confident people saying they had BIG egos. Yet shyness, and the fear of being seen is also a function of a big ego. Ego isn’t just confidence, it is all human traits from greed, shyness, shame, guilt, lust, anger, sadness and on and on. It’s that part of us that likes or dislikes being seen. It’s the entity in us that loves it when we are admired and also that part of us that hates it when we are criticised.

So who are we when this ego is reduced or eradicated? We are the peaceful, uninfluenced observer. It is the Inner Being. It is the deep sweet serenity that watches silently. This is the you that is untainted by the vasanas or fluctuations of the mind. Here there is no fear and no bravado. It’s simply you, or in the Vedic World View, it is AMNESS or SELF. Here you are free. You are unaffected if you are in front of 3 people or 300 people.

So in essence, it is total presence. When you are on stage, you are simply standing on stage. Nothing more than that. True confidence is when we are acting from a place of egolessness and free in each moment. True confidence doesn’t need courage or bravado because there is no fear to be brave about.

How do we eradicate the ego to experience this pure liberated state? This is our work. And yes, it is not easy! It’s been many years work for me and it still continues. That pesky ego is still lingering around and wreaks havoc at times in my life. But our work is to continue to reduce its influence in our state of peaceful presence. To do this meditation plays a HUGE role. In the stillness of meditation we connect with that unbounded state of peaceful presence, beyond the limits of the ego. The work is to put aside time to meditate, and then outside of meditation, to observe the difference between that which is ego and that which is not. This is a daily vigilant process. Receiving ongoing support in this work also helps, as the ego can be virulent and stubborn, so finding a coach or guide to assist you is also beneficial. When your ego starts dissolving and your peaceful presence prevails, then walking on stage in front of 500 people will be a much calmer and truly confident experience!


Learn to become a conscious leader and transform yourself and those around you through the personal guidance from Founder of The Stillness Project, Tom Cronin.

This program will stretch you, expand your potential, deepen your gifts to the world, and explore ways in which you can bring your vision, mission and purpose to life. Click here for a free session to get clear on your vision in life with Tom Cronin.

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