How To Have The Perfect 2019!

It seemed that for many people, myself included, 2018 was a pretty intense year. The challenges flowed thick and fast! There were times when I was like “Ok, I’m ready for a break now…please ease off for a while!” Was this the case for you?

Well, my feeling is that 2019 is going to be a good year, the question is: will it be free of challenges? In short, NO. Challenges never stop all through our life. Ask anyone you know what their current challenge is and I’m sure they will find something. Then you think, well the Dalai Lama must have it pretty good? He has plenty of money, has accommodation with no debt, as much food as he wants, over 1 million Instagram followers and all the purple robes he ever needs. And yet he is always surrounded by bodyguards with assassination a constant threat, and he faces health issues just like everybody else, having recently spent 4 weeks in the Mayo Clinic for prostate problems. You will see him here supported by two monks holding him up and some firm looking bodyguards behind him.

It’s the nature of reality. As Dr John Demartini, the great thought leader suggests, we will always experience equal measure of support and challenge. Life will have pleasure and life will have pain. Where we struggle is that we have an expectation that if we try harder, get more money, look better, have more followers or manifest that dream boat, then we will finally be free and find peace and happiness. But there is no arrival. We never ‘get there’. What we can do is get better at not expecting to ‘get there’ and deal with the challenges as they appear. I was once told by my coach (yes I coach and get coached) that the challenges never stop, we just stop seeing them as challenges.

I liken it to the analogy of lifting weights which I may have mentioned to you before. If there was no gravitational pull on the dumb bell then there would be no challenge to the arm and therefore there would be no development of the muscle. So I actually pay my gym membership and go to the gym FOR the challenge. So what has all this got to do with making 2019 a great year? By letting go of it being perfect and letting go of it not having challenges we can be in flow more and less resistant to what is. Most of our stresses and anxieties stem from holding on so rigidly to what we think it should be rather than seeing it for what it is- an opportunity to let go and be. The wise do not seeking perfection in places that perfection does not exist. When I am stressed and in a state of mild overwhelm it’s always my reminder to let go and stop trying to control life and create perfection. When you think you have arrived, and you get those 1 million follows on your Insta, or you find that soul mate, or you finally pay off your mortgage, something will pop up to present a challenge. So yes, let’s make 2019 a great year and realise our goals, knowing full well, that when we do, it won’t be perfect and I’m perfectly happy with that.

Someone once said to me: “a rishi observes the fluctuations of life with a mild fascination and slight smile”. I guess this is one thing you can say about the Dalai Lama, throughout all of his challenges, he seems to always have that sweet smile on his face regardless.

Have a beautiful and perfectly imperfect 2019.


Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and personal coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in his Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. To contact Tom about receiving his guidance or booking him to speak at your company click here.

Find Out How To Shift Your Karma

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A good friend of mine, Anne McCue was in the country performing a gig last week. (She’s a rock star, look her up!)
She introduced one song by saying: “This next song is inspired by a Confucius saying that goes like this- ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.’”

The next morning I read about how a couple killed a number of people in San Bernardino, only to then be shot and killed themselves, leaving behind a trail of pain, suffering and also a young child. Relevant song Annie.

Karma is a sensitive topic. We generally think of karma as a negative force that is here to punish us when we do something wrong.

I saw a young child trip over a step in the footpath the other day and I heard his sister say to him: “There’s your karma for being mean to me.”

Radiohead sang in their cult song Karma Police: “This is what you get when you mess with us.”

I prefer to think of karma as a scientific law of cause and effect. It never ceases to amaze me at how simple this is when I watch it play out in my life. Many times in my life I have been slapped and whipped by karma and many times I have had a life flow with abundance and joy by karma. It never fails or falters. It might take some time to respond, but respond it will.

Every action flows from an energy, a vibration, or let’s call it a feeling. That feeling level that motivates the action will set forth a flow of events that respond to that feeling. From there, a reciprocal action will ensue in your life based up that vibration.

In my past, if my actions were driven by hate, anger, fear, selfishness or other low-grade feelings, then interestingly I experience events that inspire more of those feelings. I would get parking tickets, end up in arguments, fights, get sick or things go ‘wrong’ in my life. If my actions are motivated by love, kindness, compassion and selflessness, then my life flows effortlessly with a lightness and abundance. From there joy and love flow through each day and life is smooth.

Karma plays out in our lives everyday. It’s transference of energy. Everything is energy. It has become a trendy word that you see splashed across yogi’s t-shirts and on Instagram images daily (over 1,600,000 karma hash tags!) But in essence, it’s a simple flow of energy creating a ripple effect.

Often we are trying to change our ‘actions’ in our lives when we are not realising the action is motivated by energy. How we FEEL determines how we act. When you feel angry, you act very differently than when you feel calm and kind.

The Dalai Lama wisely once said, ‘My religion is kindness’. Kindness is not an ideology, its not a belief, its not a principle. Kindness is a feeling, an energy. You either feel kind or you don’t. The basis of kindness is love.

Each day I observe an escalation in global turmoil. More hate, more separation, more anger and of course more chaos. The way I see it is only one thing will change this…not ideologies, not regions, not politics, not guns and not warships. That one thing is HOW WE FEEL. There are only so many feelings we can have. Is it fear, anger, hate, shame, guilt, or is it love, kindness, compassion and joy? (Or variables of these?) The only true power we have is how we feel. This alone is our source of power.

When my life is chaotic, when I am suffering, I know it’s time to pause, and look within. I ask myself, “Heck Tom, what feeling are you emitting to have attracted all this mess!?” Then I know it’s time to step back, calm everything down, and work on shifting my energy. One simple technique I find helps more than anything else, is meditation. It’s not the cure-all, but it sure helps re-centre me and shift my feeling level.

Karma will always play out in your life, the choice is do you shift it from chaos to smooth, from sickness to health, from tired to energised, from heaviness to lightness, from war to peace.

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