How To Make Friends With Your Shadow Side

shadowHave you noticed that you have this dark thing that follows you around everywhere? It never seems to leave your side does it? Well, lately mine has become a big part of my life again. Yep, that pesky shadow was back and begging for some attention.

See this shadow of mine played a big part in my life many years ago. It caused pain in a lot of peoples lives including mine. It lured me down dark laneways, it lead me to do crazy things and was also the part of me that beat myself up about it afterwards. When your shadow side plays a big part in your life, your life becomes just that, a dark shadow. Where your attention goes, it grows.

I spent a lot of time in my life devoted to removing my shadow. I recognised that part of me that was dark and heavy and then I discovered another side to me that was light and well…light! I began to put more attention on my light and life changed dramatically. Over time I forgot that there was even a shadow there because I looked forward towards the light and yearned to be one with it. My life flowed with light and love and everything flourished. Aah, the Bliss of Being.

But lately my attention shifted again, and I looked behind me and saw that yes, the shadow was still there. I couldn’t ignore it and in fact, it completely pulled me in to its story. I felt the shame, the guilt, the pain and the vulnerability. Why are you still here? After all these years! I thought I got rid of you. Darn it! I could feel the spiral pull me down. It reminded me of a book I once read called The Shadow Effect where Deepak Chopra teamed up with Marianne Williamson and Debbie Ford to share their views on our shadow side. In this book Marianne Williamson writes:

“We’re often afraid of looking at our shadow because we want to avoid the shame or embarrassment that comes along with admitting mistakes. We feel that if we take a deep look at ourselves, we’ll be too exposed. But the thing we should actually fear is not looking at it, for our denial of the shadow is exactly what fuels it. One day I looked at something in myself that I had been avoiding because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise. Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized the pain necessary to develop that coping mechanism to begin with.”

Yes Marianne, this is exactly it! I am here because the darkness of my shadow compelled me to move in the direction of the light. The shadow was an integral part of my journey as it is yours. It’s the key to the life we live. As Debbie Ford says:

“The conflict between who we are and who we want to be is at the core of the human struggle. Duality, in fact, lies at the very center of the human experience. It is because of our unexamined life, our darker self, our shadow self where our unclaimed power lies hidden. It is here, in this least likely place, that we will find the key to unlock our strength, our happiness, and our ability to live out our dreams.”

I’ve been going deep into contemplation about my shadow and one thing that came to me was that I only have a shadow when I am blocking the light. This is in effect what a shadow is right? It only occurs when I block light. The Earth has a shadow, the moon has one, and you have one. Anything that is blocking the light will create a shadow.

But then I thought, hang on; the sun doesn’t have one does it? Why is that? Because the sun IS the light. The light doesn’t have shadows, only the things that block light do.

So if I truly wanted to remove the shadow, then I must BE THE LIGHT. I must be love. Just be that. This made me ponder is there a way to BE pure Light without a shadow or do I accept that I will always have a shadow? Does an enlightened Buddha, a Christ or a Saint have a shadow still? What do you think? I’d love to know so please leave a comment below….
And if you’d like to feel more LIGHT, you may like to try my Golden Heart Meditation. After this meditation you will enhance the feelings of light and love in your heart. You can find it in our store here:


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