How To Dissolve FEAR From Your Life

I have something that I have to tell you. I recently experienced F.E.A.R. Yes, it’s true! Now for many of you of this may not seem that unusual. I mean everyone experiences fear at some point in their life right? But you see, I am a meditation teacher, and I’ve been practicing meditation twice a day for 17 years. What I teach is a technique that reduces F.E.A.R. And yet after all these years, I recently came down with a case of it. It wasn’t fun.
 

What is F.E.A.R.? Future Events Appearing Real. It is a removal from the present. It’s a mental projection into the future, into an imaginary event. So there I was, in sunny Fiji with my lovely family having a wonderful holiday. The fresh warm air rustling among palm trees, warm sun on my skin, the pacific ocean lapping at my toes, delicious food, lots of lightness and love. I was present; there was nothing but the now. Nothing but the sheer simplicity of being there, right there, in sunny peaceful Fiji. My world was bliss.

And then it happened. I was removed from the present and projected into the future. That’s when the F.E.A.R. arrived. You see it was triggered by three events in the space of about 2 hours all revolving around my future career prospects. To let you in on the situation there is some vulnerability about my day job, as many other people are experiencing in the world today. While I was in Fiji I received some phone calls and messages from friends that have had their world turned upside down as their careers and financial stability were removed from them. This triggered my mind to suddenly run rampant with all these imaginary scenarios and then wham! That was it; I was removed from the present and propelled into some un-real future!

What then happened? My entire holiday changed, well for a few hours anyway as I to grappled that mind of mine back from its very creative thinking process. I felt heavy, I felt scared, I felt withdrawn and low on energy. I lost that spark and fun playfulness with my family. I was no longer present and reveling in the deliciousness of what was all around me. This is the power of F.E.A.R. It has such a strong vortex that it will totally distort your present situation. How many times have you been lying in bed at night, all snug and cozy under the doona, your head on a soft pillow, your present moment totally safe, warm and nurturing, and yet you are off in some future event that totally removes you from the now? Your whole physiology shifts. You can’t sleep, your heart races, your skin crawls, you get hot, uncomfortable and you are deprived of sleep? Sound familiar?

Unless you are being attacked by a sabre tooth tiger or a marauding tribe, there is a good chance that your present moment, that is, what your senses have to offer you, is absolutely fine and beautiful. Most of our fear-filled scenarios never actually happen and yet we spend so much of our time in our mind projecting into the future.

So how did I deal with this F.E.A.R.? Firstly, meditation. This technique holds the key to being present. The simple repetition of your a mantra will quieten that busy mind and settle it back into the present. Secondly, outside of my meditation, I brought more attention to what my senses were detecting. What was I hearing right now? What was I seeing right now? What was I tasting right now? What was I smelling right now? What was I feeling right now? By bringing my attention to my senses it brought me back to the present. I went from these imaginary scenarios in the future that were totally unreal, back to Fiji, back to the paradise around me.

Aaah, the simplicity and lightness of right now. Out of the mind and in the senses, in the NOW. Free from F.E.A.R. I was in heaven again. Heaven on Earth.

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How To Confront The Fear Of Ageing

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Do you have a fear of ageing? Well, you’re not alone. We live in a society that is completely and totally obsessed with beauty and youth. Everywhere we turn, we face airbrushed models and people trying to sell us products to help us feel or look younger.

Instead of welcoming the wisdom and sense of acceptance that comes naturally with age, we are taught to look for superficial “quick-fixes” to stop the ageing process in its tracks. Women are instructed to turn to methods such as Botox plastic surgery, crash diets, and wrinkle creams in order to appear younger than they really are. And men try to combat mid-life crises with fast sports cars and younger women. Although often these things don’t fool anybody, we cling to them for comfort, as if to prove to ourselves that our best years aren’t behind us.

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you should fight the ageing process as much as possible. Unfortunately, that kind of response is only going to hurt you the older you get. If you can’t change your outlook, you might even find yourself facing depression as you get older. Instead of looking on the ageing process as a misfortune, why not embrace the natural benefits of ageing? The following tips will be useful to you if you are trying to confront a fear of ageing.

Tip #1: Embrace love.
The older you get, the more you will desire to share your life with others. When it comes to a spouse or life partner, you will naturally start to value that relationship more with age, and to place more emphasis on that connection. As you move through life with that person and you encounter both good times and struggles, you should start to feel less attached to superficial things, such as the way you look. Instead, you’ll begin to feel more concerned about how you act, and you should begin to naturally feel less selfish. The sense of peace, value, and contentment that you get from your relationships with friends, loved ones, and family becomes more important.

Tip #2: Cultivate your sense of spirituality.
We’re all spiritual beings, but in our youth we often fail to acknowledge this aspect of our existence. With age comes experience and maturity, and a lot of the time a deeper desire to feel spiritually connected to God and to others. The ageing process is a hint that the body won’t last forever; eventually it will expire and the spirit will live on. It’s natural to want to seek refuge in spiritual activities such as prayer or meditation. If you would like to learn more about how Stillness-centered meditation can help you overcome a fear of ageing, simply click on the link below:

Tip #3: Give your time to others.
As you get older, you get a clearer picture of what is really important. When you pass away, you will leave behind all of your material possessions – so what is the use in focusing on obtaining those things. The satisfaction you will get will be short-lived. Instead, why not leave a lasting impression by serving others? There are more than enough ways to help people, animals, and the environment, and you will get satisfaction in the knowledge that you’re leaving behind a legacy.

Tip #4: Promote your own wellness.
Just as an old car needs maintenance more frequently than a new one, so will you as you get older. But it’s nothing to worry about – you simply need to make sure that you give yourself a little bit more attention. Taking the time to get back on track when it comes to healthy habits becomes more and more important as you age. You should focus on eating healthy, getting a moderate amount of exercise on a regular basis, and stimulating your mind to keep it sharp. If you want to learn more about health tips that can help you to overcome your fear of ageing, simply click on the link below:

Is ageing on your mind? It’s been proven that meditation can increase telomerase in the body which reduce the ageing process. If you’d like to find out more about meditation sign up for these three free videos on meditation by clicking here.

Overcoming a Fear of Confrontation

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Do you have a fear of confrontation? Would you like to learn how to overcome your fear? Would you like to find out how to address conflicts in a healthy way?

Life would be a piece of cake if we never had to fight with anyone, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, arguments, disagreements, and clashes of opinion are normal, and you should expect them to happen from time to time. Healthy confrontations can help you to resolve your problems and move forward with your life. Imagine you’re in a relationship with someone. You’ve been with that person for a year or two but you’ve stopped feeling as though you are growing; your relationship has become unfulfilling and it lacks passion. You wonder whether you are actually in love, or just comfortable. When you confront your partner honestly and openly, you will undoubtedly come to a conclusion – to stay together and try to fix the things that might be broken in the relationship, or to go your separate ways. In both cases you are taking a step forward that will bring about some sort of solution.

When someone is frustrating you at work you should behave in a similar way. Let that person know their behavior is bothering you, discuss reasons for the behavior and possible solutions, and try to move forward. If you go about it the right way, using confrontation to address your problems can be beneficial for everyone involved.

People who have a fear of confrontation aren’t able to assert themselves. The idea of discussing a problem you have with someone makes you uncomfortable, anxious, or avoidant. However, this inability to face problems and people that trouble you also has an impact on your life. You are susceptible to being undermined by people, going along with things you don’t want to do or don’t believe in, and having trouble standing up for yourself and your ideas. In the end, it is impossible to lead the life you would like to with a fear of confrontation.

However, you must keep in mind that somewhere along the line, you were conditioned to feel fear in response to confrontation. Perhaps speaking up got you into trouble as a child. Or perhaps you had a bad experience when you stood up for yourself. When these kinds of experiences accumulate, it can cause you to believe that confrontation is something to be feared. So how can you overcome that conditioning? When you practise Stillness, you can actually clear your mind of the worries, anxieties, and defeating thoughts that you have gathered over the years. You progress to a state of inner peace, where your mind expresses your ultimate reality. Practising Stillness is a healthy way to overcome a fear of confrontation on your own. All you have to do is take the time to find out more.

Tips for Confronting Others
Once you’ve gotten over your fear of confrontation, the next step is to find out how to actually confront other people in a healthy manner. Let’s face it: if you don’t learn how to correctly talk about your issues with other people, you might end up back at square one by approaching that person in an aggressive or combative manner. The following tips can help you when you’re actually trying to take up a concern you have with someone else:

  • Approach conflict like a riddle that you want to solve. When you discuss the issue with the other person, be sure to identify all of the stakeholders and how they are affected. Assert that you are trying to find a solution that works for everyone and ask that person what they would do in that particular situation.
  • Maintain a good rapport with people. If you are on good terms with everyone, you’ll be less likely to face problems when you bring up your grievances. If you are cooperative and agreeable most of the time, people will be more likely to take your problem seriously and cooperate with you to find a solution.
  • Watch your language. Use language that is constructive. Don’t attack the person – that will only make them defensive. Instead, describe the actions or situations that are contributing to the problem.

If you would you like to learn more about healthy conflict resolution and overcoming your fear of confrontation, take some time to understand how cultivating Stillness can help.

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