6 Tips To Get You Through A Challenging Experience 

6 tips
Sometimes things just don’t go according to plan right? That’s how it was this week for me. You know those times when you think you have the script clearly written out and for some reason the other actors in your movie don’t seem to be following the script? What’s going on?? Why don’t you follow my script??

Life will throw some challenges at you.

Each challenge is the space where you get to either contract or grow. That is we either choose to be a victim or we choose to be empowered. If you choose to be a victim, it will be a long drawn out experience that could last days, weeks or even years! It will be filled with lots of friction, poor health and deteriorated relationships. If you see it as an opportunity to grow, you will pass through it quickly and come through the other side lighter and happier.

If you choose to be empowered, you will discover the challenge is an opportunity, one that is rich in knowledge. Coming to this realisation is the biggest hurdle. Once you overcome that big obstacle, and look for the nuggets of gold in the experience, you’ll go from seeker to finder. Getting through those times requires embracing a few steps or strategies. I’ve put together 6 things that I do when life isn’t quite unfolding how I expected it to. If things are tough at the moment, try these out, you’ll find it will flow more with less friction.
Here they are:

1. Pause. This sounds simple but pushing, fighting and struggling harder isn’t the way through. Pause. Sit and take a moment to just be. Instead of chasing life, allow some space so that life will FLOW towards you. When I am forcing things, I always remind myself, create a space and let it flow towards me.

2. Work Out. Yep, channeling any frustration, excess energy like anger, agitation, or fear into a seriously good sweat and work out is a huge release. This exertion will do wonders for clearing pent up energy. Not only that it transforms dark energy into something more positive and lighter.

3. Seek guidance. Somewhere in your life, there will be people that will be able to see things from a different perspective than you. When we are deep in the turmoil of our own situation, often it is hard to see the wood through the trees. There’s a saying, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher will come’. Be open to receiving guidance from someone who might offer some support and a different perspective. Is it your Mum, your Dad, your best friend, a coach or counsellor or a meditation teacher? You will find someone when you are ready for assistance.

4. Read. I have a huge library of books that I have drawn upon over many years to support me on my path. The words in these books hold wisdom and guidance that has been invaluable to me. People like Dan Millman, Eckart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Emmanuel, Marianne Williamson and Neale Donald Walsch (among many others) have all played a big part in helping me through difficult times. Here is my blog where I recommend 10 books.

5. Meditate. One sanctuary I always come back to is stillness. Amid all the fluctuations and challenges of life I have always found one constant…STILLNESS. The gateway to stillness is meditation. Meditation is my foundation that I build my life on. It’s in meditation that I am able to cut through those ups and downs of life and experience a freedom in the stillness. There is a sanskrit word nivartatvum, which means ‘transcend where you are’. Go to the stillness and find peace there.

6. Be Mindful. Mindfulness is looking deep into your thinking process. Ask yourself questions, look at the way your mind works, are those thoughts serving you? What is the nature of your thoughts? Mindfulness involves deep introspection into the nature of your thoughts and actions. Often we run on autopilot not even aware that we are thinking or acting in a certain way. Being mindful requires you to observe YOU, observe the things you do and the way you think, assessing if that is still serving your best interests.

Life will throw some curly ones at you. No doubt about it. But you can pass through these times and come out the other side elevated, wiser and lighter. These steps will help you. You may have  some other suggestions which we’d love to hear. So feel free to share them with us below.

In the meantime why you try my 10 minute guided meditation here called the Gentle Breath Meditation. All you have to do is click the button below. Happy meditating!

Gentle Breath Meditation
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How To Make Friends With Your Shadow Side

shadowHave you noticed that you have this dark thing that follows you around everywhere? It never seems to leave your side does it? Well, lately mine has become a big part of my life again. Yep, that pesky shadow was back and begging for some attention.

See this shadow of mine played a big part in my life many years ago. It caused pain in a lot of peoples lives including mine. It lured me down dark laneways, it lead me to do crazy things and was also the part of me that beat myself up about it afterwards. When your shadow side plays a big part in your life, your life becomes just that, a dark shadow. Where your attention goes, it grows.

I spent a lot of time in my life devoted to removing my shadow. I recognised that part of me that was dark and heavy and then I discovered another side to me that was light and well…light! I began to put more attention on my light and life changed dramatically. Over time I forgot that there was even a shadow there because I looked forward towards the light and yearned to be one with it. My life flowed with light and love and everything flourished. Aah, the Bliss of Being.

But lately my attention shifted again, and I looked behind me and saw that yes, the shadow was still there. I couldn’t ignore it and in fact, it completely pulled me in to its story. I felt the shame, the guilt, the pain and the vulnerability. Why are you still here? After all these years! I thought I got rid of you. Darn it! I could feel the spiral pull me down. It reminded me of a book I once read called The Shadow Effect where Deepak Chopra teamed up with Marianne Williamson and Debbie Ford to share their views on our shadow side. In this book Marianne Williamson writes:

“We’re often afraid of looking at our shadow because we want to avoid the shame or embarrassment that comes along with admitting mistakes. We feel that if we take a deep look at ourselves, we’ll be too exposed. But the thing we should actually fear is not looking at it, for our denial of the shadow is exactly what fuels it. One day I looked at something in myself that I had been avoiding because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise. Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized the pain necessary to develop that coping mechanism to begin with.”

Yes Marianne, this is exactly it! I am here because the darkness of my shadow compelled me to move in the direction of the light. The shadow was an integral part of my journey as it is yours. It’s the key to the life we live. As Debbie Ford says:

“The conflict between who we are and who we want to be is at the core of the human struggle. Duality, in fact, lies at the very center of the human experience. It is because of our unexamined life, our darker self, our shadow self where our unclaimed power lies hidden. It is here, in this least likely place, that we will find the key to unlock our strength, our happiness, and our ability to live out our dreams.”

I’ve been going deep into contemplation about my shadow and one thing that came to me was that I only have a shadow when I am blocking the light. This is in effect what a shadow is right? It only occurs when I block light. The Earth has a shadow, the moon has one, and you have one. Anything that is blocking the light will create a shadow.

But then I thought, hang on; the sun doesn’t have one does it? Why is that? Because the sun IS the light. The light doesn’t have shadows, only the things that block light do.

So if I truly wanted to remove the shadow, then I must BE THE LIGHT. I must be love. Just be that. This made me ponder is there a way to BE pure Light without a shadow or do I accept that I will always have a shadow? Does an enlightened Buddha, a Christ or a Saint have a shadow still? What do you think? I’d love to know so please leave a comment below….
And if you’d like to feel more LIGHT, you may like to try my Golden Heart Meditation. After this meditation you will enhance the feelings of light and love in your heart. You can find it in our store here:

GoldenHeatMed

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15 Empowering Quotes on Forgiveness

 

Give-Forgiveness

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt through stillness is to forgive and let go. It may be one of the toughest things to do but without forgiveness, we will end up holding on to unwanted baggage that may be blocking us from being the light and love that we are.

But how does one learn to forgive when the pain was so strong? One of the steps I took towards forgiveness was to find guidance from those who have been able to embrace it during troubled times. Their messages helped me realize that resentment and anger towards others leaves me to be the one who ends up suffering. Through years of teaching I also see that the deep wound of resentment is the barrier many carry to their liberation from pain. So I thought I’d put together some beautiful quotes from Gandhi, Marianne Williamson and Nelson Mandela, to inspire you to embrace forgiveness:

1.”The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

2.”Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boose

3. “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” – Louis B. Smedes

4. “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”
― Marianne Williamson

5. “True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment.”
– David Ridge

6. “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself” – Tony Robbins

7. “Courageous people do not fear forgiving for the sake of peace” – Nelson Mandela

8. “Bring into your mind anyone against whom you have a grievance and let it go. Send that person your forgiveness.” – Deepak Chopra

9. “Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” – Cherie Carter-Scott

10. “True forgiveness is when you can say ‘Thank you for that experience’.” – Oprah Winfrey

11. “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

12. “Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward

13. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

14. “We win by tenderness. We conquer by forgiveness.” – Frederick William Robertson

15. “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

Forgiveness isn’t easy. These quotes will help you move closer to that point of total forgiveness and hence freedom. If you’d like some more assistance then my recent book Path To Peace is for you. Path to Peace will help you realize how to live a blissfully effortless life, flowing through the constant change each day. Forgiveness requires change, and change is like being in a maze and needing a road map to find your way through it. Path To Peace is your road map. Check it out here.

Path To Peace Cover 3D

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