10 Steps To Build Your Confidence


Are you looking for confidence builders that really work? Confidence is a tool that can help you to overcome obstacles and leave a lasting impression. And the best part about confidence is that it rubs off on others. When you’re confident about what you’re saying or doing, you’ll come off as intelligent, successful, capable and even desirable. Confident people have no trouble attracting others.

Of course, even people who are regularly confident experience spells of low self-esteem or insecurity. The important thing to remember is that if you find yourself feeling unusually down, it doesn’t take much to give your confidence level a boost.

The following confidence builders can help you stay steady and self-assured:

  1. Peel yourself away from the mirror. 

Yes, you should devote some time each day to your appearance, but once you’re ready, let that be the end of it. Most of us have difficulty staying away from mirrors when we encounter them in elevators or bathrooms, but the less time you spend agonizing over every detail of your appearance, the happier you’ll be.

  1. Stand behind your decisions. 

Instead of hemming and hawing over miniscule decisions or jumping back and forth trying to decide what to do, try making a decision and going with it. This doesn’t mean you should start behaving rashly, but people who are confident and self-assured tend to know what they want.

  1. Work on your posture. 

Your mom probably told you when you were a kid to stop slouching and she was right. When you stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head held high, the impression you

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Don’t worry about anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your best friend is getting engaged or your neighbor just got a promotion at work?Dwelling on what others have achieved isn’t going to help you feel good about yourself, nor is it going to help you get ahead.

  1. Do things alone. 

It’s easy to feel sure of yourself when you’re out with a group of people or a boyfriend or girlfriend. But doing things alone can leave you feeling outside of your comfort zone. Try doing things alone every now and then to cultivate your sense of confidence.

  1. Practice meditation. 

By making your mind still, you can filter out defeating thoughts which can contribute to low self-esteem. Twenty minutes twice a day can have a profound effect on your confidence.

  1. Exchange online social networking for face-to-face social networking.

Do you spend hours clicking through photos of your “friends,” analyzing their outfits or who they’ve been clicked with? Instead of wasting your time online, why not get out and socialize yourself? Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you to feel more confident about yourself.

  1. Make eye contact.

Confident people aren’t afraid to make eye contact. When you’re talking to someone, practice staring that person straight in the eyes. You’ll give off the impression that you’re sure of yourself, confident, and intelligent.

  1. Dress your best.

If you feel good in whatever you’re wearing, you’re more likely to convey that message to others, too. Instead of going out in your old pair of sweatpants, put some effort into your appearance each time you leave the house. You’ll find that spending just a few minutes on your outfit will help you to step out with confidence.

  1. Feel wealthy.

Take the time to remind yourself of all you have. You may not be the richest, the most successful, the prettiest or the smartest but isn’t it better to just be yourself? When you appreciate the blessings you do have and stop being in a state of wanting, you don’t need to feel down about what you don’t have.

Start with these 10 steps and let me know how you feel

How To Find The Confidence To Speak In Front Of 300 People

public_speaking_stage_womanHow do you feel about getting up on stage and speaking in front of 300 people? Would you get a knot in your stomach? How about the sickening feeling of nausea, dry mouth and sweaty palms? Would your heart start pulsing faster as the fight-flight kicks in??
It’s hard to not have noticed the plethora of self-confidence articles and social media memes that have been posted up on the Internet in the last few years. Adding to these are numerous self-confidence boosting seminars and online programs to help you ‘overcome your fears’, step on the stage and find your voice. It has been suggested that speaking on stage is one of the greatest fears we can face in life. I definitely know. Years ago I would stutter and stammer, go bright red in the face and have a near panic attack if I was asked to speak in front of 3 people!

These days I feel comfortable stepping onstage in front of 300-500 people (although yes there may still be a little flutter inside) but the fear has reduced dramatically. What has changed? Most self-confidence boosting courses and confidence coaching is focussed on building up your ego so you will feel courageous about the confronting situation. In this article however, I will be taking a very different approach. This is not about building up your ego so that it’s bigger than the fear; rather it’s the complete opposite. Our goal here is not to strive for a bigger ego.

True confidence as opposed to self-confidence, is when we reduce and even eradicate the ego. Ideally to the point where there is no more ego. When there is no ego, there is no fear. Fear is only experienced by the ego. If there is no fear, then we are free to BE our true Self.

A very shy friend of mine would criticise confident people saying they had BIG egos. Yet shyness, and the fear of being seen is also a function of a big ego. Ego isn’t just confidence, it is all human traits from greed, shyness, shame, guilt, lust, anger, sadness and on and on. It’s that part of us that likes or dislikes being seen. It’s the entity in us that loves it when we are admired and also that part of us that hates it when we are criticised.

So who are we when this ego is reduced or eradicated? We are the peaceful, uninfluenced observer. It is the Inner Being. It is the deep sweet serenity that watches silently. This is the you that is untainted by the vasanas or fluctuations of the mind. Here there is no fear and no bravado. It’s simply you, or in the Vedic World View, it is AMNESS or SELF. Here you are free. You are unaffected if you are in front of 3 people or 300 people.

So in essence, it is total presence. When you are on stage, you are simply standing on stage. Nothing more than that. True confidence is when we are acting from a place of egolessness and free in each moment. True confidence doesn’t need courage or bravado because there is no fear to be brave about.

How do we eradicate the ego to experience this pure liberated state? This is our work. And yes, it is not easy! It’s been many years work for me and it still continues. That pesky ego is still lingering around and wreaks havoc at times in my life. But our work is to continue to reduce its influence in our state of peaceful presence. To do this meditation plays a HUGE role. In the stillness of meditation we connect with that unbounded state of peaceful presence, beyond the limits of the ego. The work is to put aside time to meditate, and then outside of meditation, to observe the difference between that which is ego and that which is not. This is a daily vigilant process. Receiving ongoing support in this work also helps, as the ego can be virulent and stubborn, so finding a coach or guide to assist you is also beneficial. When your ego starts dissolving and your peaceful presence prevails, then walking on stage in front of 500 people will be a much calmer and truly confident experience!


Learn to become a conscious leader and transform yourself and those around you through the personal guidance from Founder of The Stillness Project, Tom Cronin.

This program will stretch you, expand your potential, deepen your gifts to the world, and explore ways in which you can bring your vision, mission and purpose to life. Click here for a free session to get clear on your vision in life with Tom Cronin.

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5 Tips To Help You Get More Balance With Work And Life

At a certain stage in life, you might find yourself struggling to manage your professional and personal life. Once you’ve settled into a routine, it can be easy to neglect one or more aspects of your holistic wellness and to feel ‘caught up’ in life without feeling like you ever get a break. Indeed, you need to give attention to every aspect of yourself in order to strike the perfect work life balance. Focusing on only one thing (i.e. your career) and neglecting another (i.e. your relationships) will leave you feeling dissatisfied with your life. The following work life balance tips can help you if you feel like you’re suffering in one area or another.

1. Schedule time to relax.
Your own downtime is often the first thing to be dropped when you’re busy. Your job might demand results that others rely on, so spending time on yourself (which produces a result that you rely on) is easily sacrificed. But your ‘me-time’ isn’t selfish. In fact, it will improve your mood and your subsequent actions with others.

Think about the things you enjoy and make a point of incorporating them into your weekly schedule. For instance, plan on spending some one-on-one time with your spouse or doing a fun activity with your friends. It’s easier to incorporate these kinds of activities when they’re scheduled, because you can finish your work around them. The most important thing is to make time for something that will help you to unwind and relieve stress.

2. Make small changes to your routine.
You don’t have to make huge changes in your life in order to achieve balance. In fact, you’ll be less likely to follow through with your goals if you make them extreme. Instead, take small steps when it comes to incorporating relaxing activities into your routine.

Even on your busiest days, taking out a few minutes in the morning or at night can really make a difference when it comes to helping you de-stress and unwind. Relaxation activities such as meditation are highly effective and don’t require a huge time commitment. As an example, the Stillness Movement is a shift towards a meditation-centered lifestyle that only requires twenty minutes worth of practise twice per day.

3. Get regular exercise.
If you see exercise as just another thing to check off on your list of things to do, you should change your perspective. Yes, it takes a huge amount of motivation to stay active when you have a busy work and home life, but ultimately it can help you to accomplish more by increasing the amount of energy you have and helping you to concentrate. When you make time to exercise, you feel better throughout the day and it will be easier to maintain your focus and complete all of the tasks you have to do. Of course, that’s in addition to all of the other benefits of exercise, from improved health, to increased longevity and improved confidence.

4. Do away with activities that stress you out, take up your time, or suck your energy.
It’s easy to waste time on things that are counterproductive, or that wear on you unnecessarily. For instance, you might spend an hour time listening to your mother-in-law complaining about her arthritis flare-ups over the phone. While it’s good to devote time to the people in your life that matter, it’s not good to spend too much time indulging others when it comes to activities that aren’t getting you anywhere.

Being unproductive at work is a major problem for many people. Some people even find that if they cut down on the amount of time they spend on social networking sites, news websites, and sifting through emails they get a lot more done. If you can identify sources of wasted time in your life you can work on minimizing them.

5. Know your goals.
If you feel like you’re life is in a constant state of chaos, it might be because you’re lacking direction. You need to take some time to identify what you would like to accomplish over both the short- and long-term. You might want to create a list of things you would like to do in your life, so that you can choose one or two things now and start working towards them. If you write down what you want to do without giving yourself a time limit, you’ll feel directed without feeling stressed about achieving your goals within a specific time frame.

To help you find direction in your life, we have the 12 month Zen Academy For Transformational Leadership program. Here you will be guided by Founder of The Stillness Project to find your passion and inspiration as a leader in the world today. Click below to find out more…

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Your Guide to Improving Self-Confidence

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What is self-confidence? Self-confidence relates to the way you see yourself and the way that you believe others see you. If you would like to work at improving your self-confidence, you must first recognize that there is an optimal level of self-confidence which can help you to succeed in life. If your sense of self-confidence is exaggerated in one direction or the other, you might have difficulty coping with some of life’s stressors.

If you have too little self-confidence, you will:

  • Feel as though you have little to no control in your life
  • Feel as though you are easily manipulated or undermined by other people
  • See yourself as a “pushover”
  • Believe that other people see you as incompetent, unworthy, or useless
  • Fail to recognize your own capabilities and achievements
  • Focus on your failures and your flaws
  • Avoid seeking out new experiences or meeting new people

If you have too much self-confidence, you will:

  • Try to control or manipulate the situations and people you encounter
  • Have difficulty working cooperatively with others
  • Have a “my-way-or-the-highway” attitude
  • Believe that you are always right
  • Be overly focused on your success and inflate your accomplishments
  • Fail to recognize or accept your own flaws and fail to admit to mistakes
  • Avoid situations or experiences that you might not be able to control

So what does an optimal level of self-confidence look like? The key is to have a realistic self-image. You have to see yourself as dynamic human being, with both talents and shortcomings. In addition, you have to be comfortable experiencing new things – even when these things lead to situations that might be out of your control. A healthy sense of self-confidence will help you to successfully cope with stress and develop and grow as a person.

In order to find the right amount of self-confidence you must release fear and understand your own inner potential. Through a practise called Stillness you can realize these goals. Each time you meditate, you go through the process of quieting your mind. You can reach a level of relaxation where you no longer experience the intrusion of defeating thoughts, worries, or self-doubt. It’s at this level that you are able to accept yourself for who you are – including all your strengths and all your weaknesses. When you repeatedly focus on finding this Stillness, you will develop the sense of self-confidence you need to combat life’s many obstacles.

Find out more about meditation in our three free videos by clicking here.

How to Improve Your Self-Confidence
Too much self-confidence?
You need to step outside of your comfort zone, because deep down you’re afraid that you won’t be able to control things. If you are overconfident, you need to let go. Here’s what to do:

  • Let someone else call the shots for once – at work or at home.
  • When you want to do things your way, try to make a compromise instead.
  • Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Ask someone for forgiveness for something you’ve done wrong.
  • Try something new.

Too little self-confidence?
Confidence can be easily faked. If you start acting the part of a confident and capable person, other people will treat you as one.

  • Give your opinion.
  • Own your anxiety but don’t let it control you.
  • Reflect on all of your accomplishments from the past year.
  • Breathe deeply, stand tall, and hold your head up high.
  • Dress the part of a confident and successful person.
  • Make eye contact.

Releasing Fear
At the root of both a lack of self-confidence and overconfidence is fear. If you can’t seem to control your fear – of the unknown, of failure, or of social ridicule – you need to start developing the ability to calm yourself down and have faith in your own inner potential. Meditation can help you to filter out all of those negatively-charged thoughts – the ones that are broadcasting the worst-case scenario over and over again. When you are in a state of Stillness you can see your inner potential in a positive, but realistic light and you won’t feel fearful towards new situations.

How can Stillness help you?
Find out in our three free videos by clicking here.
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