How To Receive Criticism And Be Comfortable With It

one-way-to-avoid-criticism-aristotle-quotes-sayings-picturesPut your hand up if you like to receive criticism.

Of course you kept your hand down. No one likes to be criticised. To the point where we often hold ourselves back from doing many great things in fear of being criticised.

I saw a quote this week by Aristotle:

“There is only one way to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

Criticism can cut to the core of our ego. It challenges all the false beliefs that we’ve had about ourselves. We tend to measure ourselves by the perspectives of others and when that perspective becomes negative, then OUCH! It hurts.

I’ll let you in on a secret, which is not so secret now. I’m a recovering perfectionist, recovering in that I’ve been in ‘perfectionist rehab’ trying to wean myself off being a perfectionist. One thing about perfectionists is that we love to be perfect…. and what does criticism from others say about our perfectness? That it doesn’t exist! Our illusion becomes shattered and it’s brutally painful.

It was for this reason that I held back from writing, speaking, and teaching. I mean what if someone faulted what I did? Heaven forbid! But the compulsion became stronger and it was a tussle between what was the natural flow forward and my ego holding me back in fear. The block was in my ego, so that’s what I had to work on…dissolving that pesky little thing (only it wasn’t little, it was gargantuan!)

Through my meditation practice I was able to slowly dissolve the big E and allow my clear fearless expression to shine through. (Mind you its not totally dissolved, there is still some there)

Sure, I get criticised. It’s going to happen. But now I see criticism as something very constructive. It’s up to you; it can be destructive or constructive. I find it useful market research that helps me refine what I do and become better at it. In fact, only the other day I asked my children to critique me as a parent. I sat them both down and said to them (true story):

“Hey kids, so I have never been trained as parent and this is my first time at it. So I may be doing things wrong or things that you don’t like. I’m still learning. I want you to let me know how you’d like me to change as a parent and what you think I could do better?”

To which they replied along the lines of:

“Nah, we think you’re doing a great job Dad, you don’t need to change anything.”

It was a nice to hear but I was seriously looking for some constructive criticism to help me become better at parenting. I used to really struggle receiving criticism, it was a painful experience. But not I welcome it with gratitude. It teaches me to evolve and adapt.

But coming back to Mr. Aristotle, and his quote. What would you prefer? Not being criticised and playing the small safe, game or growing, expanding and inspiring others while you expose yourself to potential criticism?  You think Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Jesus, Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela were never criticised? The choice is yours and you have greatness within you to share with the world. So what are you waiting for? Share with me how you would like to share your gifts with the world below 🙂

To support you on your path we have created The Empowerment Series! This powerful three part series on LOVE, ABUNDANCE & LIFE PURPOSE will bring you clarity, strength and support so that you thrive in these three key areas of life. You’ll receive three 1 hour audios, 3 books of the audio and 3 Companion books to write in. After you have experienced The Empowerment Series your life will soar to a new level of excitement and magnificence! Find out more here.

Empowerment Banner

Empowerment Orange Button

How To Re-Wire Your Brain To Be More Positive

positive thoughtsDid you know most people’s minds, and possibly yours also, tend to occupy negative thoughts about 60% of the time?

For some people it will be even more than that. I know when I was in my late teens and 20’s it was probably more like 85% of the time! I would spend hours listening to wallowing of The Smiths and Siouxsie and the Banshees, and have my head in books by existentialists like Jean Paul Sartre, Charles Bukowski or Albert Camus.

Yep, dark and broody would best describe my life back then!

But things changed for me and can for you too. How would you like to have positive thoughts about 99% of the time?

Well you can.

Two things made a big difference to the way my mind operated. The first thing was meditation, which you’ve heard a lot about from me before. But the other thing was positive affirmations.

Now you maybe thinking “Oh they are so cheesy and just not for me.”

Well I understand because I was the same. But after studying the mind for 20 years now I can surely say, when you combine meditation and positive affirmations you will change the way your mind works. The mind is malleable which is an idea supported by respected writer and author of “The Brain That Changed Itself’ Norman Doige. He says:

“The brain is a far more open system than we ever imagined, and nature has gone very far to help us perceive and take in the world around us. It has given us a brain that survives in a changing world by changing itself.”

So if you’d like to rewire your brain and think more positively, try meditating each day and after each meditation, finish with some new thoughts that will be fresh new data for your mind. This is your step towards having a mind that spends more time in positive territory each day.

Affirmations are statements about you and your life NOW. Not ‘I hope’ or ‘maybe’ or ‘I will’, but AFFIRMATIVE and NOW.

How affirmations work is what you think today, will become your world tomorrow. Buddha once said “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” So by changing your thoughts today, you will change your world in the future. The key to affirmations really working for you is you need to actually FEEL the idea as a sensation in your body. Hold that feeling, that is, the energy, of the thought.

Patience is needed here. It’s going to take time to rewire deeply conditioned neural pathways to travel along new routes. However if you continue to reshape the way your mind thinks daily, in time it will naturally operate this way. Again to refer to Norman Doige, he says:

“If you want to lift a hundred pounds, you don’t expect to succeed the first time. You start with a lighter weight and work up little by little. You actually fail to lift a hundred pounds, every day, until the day you succeed. But it is in the days when you are exerting yourself that the growth is occurring.”

Some affirmations you may like to try are:

I AM ABUNDANT
I AM VITALITY
I AM LOVE

MY LIFE IS JUST WHERE I NEED TO BE TO GROW
MY LIFE IS AMAZING
MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

I FEEL BLISS
I FEEL STRONG
I FEEL MY INNER LIGHT

Give these a try after your meditation session and start to watch how you will feel more positive, act more postive and attract more positivity.

Maybe you have some affirmations that you’d like to share with us that other readers could use? We’d love to hear from you….

And to support you on your path to thinking BIG we have created The Empowerment Series! This powerful three part series on LOVE, ABUNDANCE & LIFE PURPOSE will bring you clarity, strength and support so that you thrive in these three key areas of life. You’ll receive three 1 hour audios, 3 books of the audio and 3 Companion books to write in. After you have experienced The Empowerment Series your life will soar to a new level of excitement and magnificence! Find out more here.

Empowerment Banner

Empowerment Orange Button

 

I Have An Apology To Make…

sorry-200x183

I have to apologize to you. You see I did something over the last few weeks that I really shouldn’t have done.  It wasn’t fair on you, me or the Universe.  I dimmed my light so that I wouldn’t make some people feel uncomfortable. Sound familiar? Do you shrink or align to other people’s darker state to try to make them feel more comfortable?

Happy people really annoy unhappy people. I didn’t want to make some people feel annoyed so I tried to fit in with them by dimming. Hmmm, interestingly it didn’t make them any happier but not only that, it certainly didn’t make me feel too good either.

That’s when I decided, dimming my light doesn’t serve anyone. Not me, you, them (the annoyed people), or the Universe.

It was a big lesson. There was only one option, burn it bright baby! Shine your light as bright as can be…this is the time for you to let your radiance radiate! Sure, its not going to please everyone, because some people love to play in the dark…I did for years. The darkness has its own lure, but I’ve played in the dark and I’ve played in the light. One sure feels a whole lot better than the other- give me LIGHT any day!

So that all sounds sweet and woo-woo but what does it actually mean and how do we switch from one to the other? Well, here are some simple tips to flick on your inner beacon of light:

– Firstly recognize whether you are playing in the dark or light. This is an important step of self awareness. It’s easy to simply be in a sleep state of numbness not even aware of our preference for dark or light.

– Then make a conscious decision, and state it everyday- IT’S TIME TO SHINE MY LIGHT. Hold this intention and make a commitment each day to yourself and the Universe that you intend to turn up the switch on your inner beacon.

– Meditate each morning and afternoon. When you quieten your mind in meditation you quieten the static of all the self doubt, the unworthiness, the fear, the guilt, the shame and open the connection to your unconditional heart center of love. In your heart center there is a fiery energy of love that is always burning.

– Open up your body with yoga. Our body becomes very immobilized with today’s lifestyle. We get stagnated energy blocks in our body by sitting in a chair all day on computers and transport. Yoga unblocks these points and allows the vital energy to flow through you like a river that has been cleared of rubbish.

– Regularly stop and pause through the day and marvel at the beauty of nature all around you. It doesn’t matter where you are, even in crowded cities, you will still be able to find a blade of grass peeking out of the sidewalk, or observe a fluffy white cloud floating high up above.

– Hug…..yep…HUG! Hug trees, animals, people….something magical happens when you hug, well it’s not even magical, its actually scientific- you produce more oxytocin, the love drug.

There you have it, 6 simple steps to fire up that inner light of yours for all the world to see. Yeah sure, some people won’t like it, but you get to choose, dark or light. What’s it going to be?

To support you on your path we have created The Empowerment Series! This powerful three part series on LOVE, ABUNDANCE & LIFE PURPOSE will bring you clarity, strength and support so that you thrive in these three key areas of life. You’ll receive three 1 hour audios, 3 books of the audio and 3 Companion books to write in. After you have experienced The Empowerment Series your life will soar to a new level of excitement and magnificence! Find out more here.

Empowerment Banner

Empowerment Orange Button

 

How To Alter Your Past And Create Your Future

alter

If you look back on your life are their experiences you wish you didn’t have?

Are their circumstance which to this day still have an effect on how you feel?

We’ve all made mistakes in our life. I’m sure there are times when you look back and think to yourself, “OMG, If only I could erase that moment from my life.”

I know I have and I’m sure you have also. But, we can’t. It’s there and it’s set in stone. Those moments will never be erased and there is nothing you can do about the fact that it happened. It’s ok though. What we are about to do is not change the event, as we know we can’t do that. But what we can do is change the way you relate to it. It’s your relationship with the past that is the only thing we can alter.

Imagine a line on a page. In the middle of the line is you right here in the now. To the left of you is your past. To the right of you on the line is your future. The past is set in stone. The future is yet to be created. The future you are about to create will be greatly determined by how you perceive your past from where you are now.

By looking back with regret, fear, shame, guilt or anger we project forward into our future all that negative energy which then changes what we attract in the future. However when you look back at your past with gratitude for the lessons that you have been served you’ll find that the future will be very different.

Your past is choc full of powerful information that is integral in your growth as a human being. Your past has the ability to guide you forward each day. It has many messages that are there for your own evolution. Sometimes those messages are painful and we have to learn through that pain to embrace forgiveness, love, empathy and compassion. When you shift your relationship with your past into a positive, you will alter future into a positive.

To support you on your path of creating a positive future, we have created The Empowerment Series. This powerful three part series on LOVE, ABUNDANCE & LIFE PURPOSE will bring you clarity, strength and support so that you thrive in these three key areas of life. You’ll receive three 1 hour audios, 3 books of the audio and 3 Companion books to write in. After you have experienced The Empowerment Series your life will soar to a new level of excitement and magnificence! Find out more here.

Empowerment Banner

Empowerment Orange Button