How To Give And Not Make A Mess

Are you one of those people that feels really uncomfortable when a friend pays for your meal?

Do you feel a sense of embarrassment when you are given a generous gift?

Do you squirm and feel uneasy when you’ve been given a glowing compliment?

Maybe you would much rather be the one that is giving, then you could avoid any of these unpleasant sensations?

It’s that special time of year when we do a lot of giving. For some people, they just LOVE giving. There are people like my parents, who most of their lives have given SO much to their family, the local church, the school and the community as a whole. It’s almost endless how much they give. This is a wonderful quality, however it can come with a downside also. Firstly, we can give too much, which sounds crazy, but giving too much can make others feel uncomfortable. Then there is giving and not being able to receive, which leads to an imbalance and state of depletion.

We are being saturated on social media by the likes of Gary Vee as to why it’s so important that we give, give and give more. ‘Be of service’ is the latest mantra being flogged to us time and time again. Which is all great, and yes it’s something that the world needs more of after we’d had a very ‘ME’ oriented society for so long.  However when it is done without balance and awareness, it leaves us flat stoney broke, depressed, low in energy and a lot of recipients of our giving overwhelmed.

Giving and receiving is an art form that requires a degree of mindfulness…one that I’m still learning. There needs to be a balance of knowing how much to give, and when to receive. We can give in many ways, like giving praise, the emojis at the end of our text messages, being of service with our time, sharing our money, imparting our knowledge, showering people with our affection and offering gifts. You’d think yes, just give, give, give. But it’s not that simple.

There are times when I have given too much affection, too much of my time, too many compliments or even too much knowledge, and it’s like overfilling a container, it gets messy and uncomfortable. If someone was to hold out a glass and asked you to fill it up, and you just kept pouring over the brim because you have so much to give, things would not only get messy, you’d most likely upset the person who held out their glass! Giving makes us feel good, which is why we do it…but there are a few other factors that need to be taken into account when we do this.

It is not what we are willing to give to people that’s important, it’s what they are capable of receiving. Understanding the recipients need is critical in knowing how much to give. This applies to emojis, affection, knowledge or anything else that we are giving. When we give too much, it leaves the other person feeling awkward, uncomfortable or overwhelmed, which in the end defeats the purpose of giving, right? Who would have thought the simple act of giving would be so complex?

Then there is the art of receiving. If we like to give, and yet we aren’t very good at receiving, then we are doing two things, firstly depleting ourselves of energy, time and money and secondly, we are depriving those people that also like to give the ability to experience that joy also. Receiving isn’t a natural trait for many of us. We can be programmed with a sense of unworthiness or poverty mindset, and receiving compliments, money, love, or affection can be incongruent with our ingrained belief systems which in the end causes us to feel uncomfortable. Learning to receive may require a process of over-ride deep conditioning through meditation and affirmations. What we can do is explore deeply within us and ask ourselves what program are we operating with? Then set about daily to not only shift these old thought patterns bit old feelings also. If you are always feeling poor or stressed about money, then this vibration will continue to manifest through your life and your decisions will be influenced by this inner feeling. So we have to take time out each day and get into this feeling and thinking body and work at shifting it to one of abundance and security, knowing that we will be supported and provided for. The Universe is infinitely abundant. So when someone showers us with any abundance we open our arms with gratitude and say ‘YES’ and THANK YOU’.

Giving and receiving is a delicate process that isn’t black and white, it’s a variable for each person and each situation, like walking a tightrope. Finding that balance is something we have to feel out. Some people hold out a big container and say, yes, fill it up, I’m open to receiving! Whereas others might hold out a tiny thimble and ask for a small morsel, and others might not be holding up anything at all.

How do we get this right every time? We won’t, but being a little more mindful through the process will go along way. It’s a work in progress and a balancing act that evolves over time.

Happy Festive season and may you give and receive joyfully!

                                                                  __________________________
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10 Tips To Break Your Phone Addiction

How’s your relationship with your phone? Are you two inseparable? Is it on you every minute of the day? Lately my phone has been making serious in-roads into my life, to the point where I was responding to it every minute of the day. Voxer, SMS, Whatsapp, Messenger, Emails, Instagram, Linkedin, and phone calls. It didn’t stop, I was losing control of my life to my phone. And lately wherever I go, I have been noticing how everyone else is on their phones as well…all the time!

For that reason, I had to set some very clear boundaries so that my phone no longer controlled my life. I found that once I set these boundaries, I felt less agitated and less hyper-stimulated. It made a big difference to my day. We are in unchartered waters now, in the history of human evolution we have never been so exposed to anything like this. Just get a train to the city at peak hour in the morning and have a look around. It will be very rare to find someone not engaged in their phone in some way.

I didn’t want to be owned like this by my phone, so I set to map out ways I could live more freely from my phone and here I share with you the 10 steps that I took to try to take back the power from my phone. Now admittedly, these are my preferences, and sometimes I struggle to stick to them!!

1. Avoid the phone while I am eating. I found eating and being on my phone highly distracting from my ability to enjoy my food. It was like eating was ‘just something you do’ rather than a special part of my day to relish the sensory delights and nourish myself for sustenance. So now eating is for eating!
2. Avoid the phone for the first hour in the morning. I found myself waking up and falling into the void of everyone else thinking processes by reading feeds, messages, and news items. I wanted to start my day with greater clarity and stillness so now my day starts with meditation to create space then visualisation, gratitude, and intention setting. It’s not until after this is done, that I will check my overnight messages.
3. Avoid the phone 30 minutes (ideally one hour) before bedtime. Rather than ending my day with some low-grade news feeds or Instagram posts of people’s cappuccinos, I like to finish my day now with some stretching, and reading deep spiritual and transformational books before I drift off to sleep. These leaves my mind in a positive framework that helps me set up the next day ahead.
4. Don’t read or text on my phone while walking. I found that while I was walking and texting or walking and reading on my phone, my nervous system would get over-stimulated and I felt uncomfortable. So now if I have to respond to something on my phone while walking I will stop and pause to send the message, and then keep walking.
5. Turn my phone on airplane mode or silent while driving. I found myself responding to messages at red traffic lights (shhh!) and I was always feeling a sense of haste trying to squeeze everything in during those small windows at traffic lights. So once I made the decision to turn my phone off in the car I was much more at ease with the drive and yes, also driving legally!
6. Turn my phone on airplane mode at night time while sleeping. It’s been proven that your phone is emitting radiation. Even just the thought of my phone being on in the house while sleeping left me uncomfortable. So every night now I turn my phone onto airplane mode.
7. Turn my Wi-Fi off in your house at night time while sleeping. When we sleep we open ourselves up to frequencies around us. Knowing that there is a black box in our home sending out an entire web of information isn’t something that I wanted to expose myself to so we now turn that off every night before bed.
8. Don’t take my phone into the gym. Ok so I’m sure many people like to listen to music or podcasts at the gym but I found that I was getting work messages and responding to them while I was at the gym so now I prefer to work out without my phone, and keep my workouts separate from my work!
9. Avoid double screening by leaving my phone off while watching TV. I used to have my phone with me everywhere I went, which meant it was on me while I watch TV with my family. If it buzzed or a message came through I would immediately answer it. Not only distracting me from my family time but also from the TV show. Now I leave my phone off or in another room so that for that window of time I am not distracted.
10. Block out time in my day to check my phone and respond to messages. By now you are probably wondering how I will ever respond to my messages on my phone. What I do is a blackout periods of time to get through things that need to get done. So the end of the meeting when I get to my car I’ll sit in my car before driving off and respond to any messages that have come through. And I do these in stages throughout the day so I’m compartmentalizing the time on my phone and not always responding to it. This way I’m empowered and not giving my power to my phone.

So like I said, these are my preferences and sometimes I bend these rules, but they are a useful guide to help me be less controlled by my phone and live a more balanced, calmer life. Do you have any other suggestions that might help our readers with their phones? Please share below.

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Tom is a meditation teacher, speaker, personal coach, and producer and co-writer of the film and book The Portal!

A unique cinematic experience created to inspire humankind into a new era, THE PORTAL is about the ability for inner change to bring about a powerful planetary shift.

Exploring the role crisis plays in our evolution—and the mental programs we’re born into—this experiential documentary brings to life the stories of six people who have used stillness and mindfulness to move beyond trauma.

To find out where you can watch the film or read the book click here. 

How to Cure Insomnia and Dive Deep In Meditation

If you are struggling to go deep in meditation or fall asleep at night it usually means the same thing…an addiction to thinking. I used to have the most chronic insomnia, taking me hours to fall asleep each night, and that changed dramatically to the point where I would fall asleep in minutes! In this short video I share some tips on how to fall asleep quickly and also go deep in meditation.

Going Deep In Mediation and Curing Insomnia

Are you struggling to go deep in meditation OR suffering from insomnia? Well in this video we cover both of these and how you can sleep better and go deeper in meditation.

Posted by The Stillness Project on Saturday, 6 July 2019

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Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and personal coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in his Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. For his 21-day, meditation program Faster Deeper Bliss click here. To contact Tom about receiving his guidance or booking him to speak at your company click here.

How To Meditate When You Literally Dont Have Time To Meditate!

So a couple of weeks ago I wrote an article talking about how we often don’t make time to meditate because we have positioned something higher up as a preference than the deep fulfilment that comes from meditation. Usually it’s the case that we have the time to meditate but it’s just not as a high-priority as some of the other things that we are choosing to do. However there are circumstances where we literally will just not be able to find the time to meditate. Today I will share with you some tips and suggestions on how to meditate when you literally have no time to meditate. This was inspired by an inquiry I had from one of my students today, (thank you Beth) who has a newborn child and really is struggling to find time to meditate.

This is common now for many people as we take on more demands than ever before and there will be days where sitting in a chair and closing your eyes for 20 minutes to do a meditation may just not be possible. It is those days that we need to be adaptable and look at alternatives for a meditation practice.

Meditation doesn’t have to always be an eyes-closed, withdrawing-the-senses-from-the-outer-world experience. We can incorporate a meditation practice while we are driving the car, while we are pushing the trolley in the supermarket aisle, while we are preparing dinner, and while we are at kid’s sport. It just takes a little practice and a little tweaking on what our understanding of meditation is. Yes, sitting in a chair, closing our eyes and transcending deeply into the quiet inner world beyond thought and the senses is a very powerful and effective form of meditation. One that I highly recommend we do on a daily basis.

However being present in an eyes open state, and completely in this moment without the fluctuations of the mind traversing into the future and the past is also an effective meditation practice. Being present and mindful of being the embodiment of love in each moment regardless of your environment is also a meditation practice. Freedom from emotional fluctuations in the feeling body, experiencing the subtle and blissful state of Being is also a meditation.

This can all be done throughout your day regardless of how busy you are. So yes you might have a lot of things on, and you might have no time at all throughout your day to sit in a chair and close your eyes and dive deep into meditation, however that doesn’t mean that you’re unable to be blissfully present in each and every moment. That is your meditation on those days.

So here are some tips to meditate when there is no time to meditate:

  • In the shower, pick up the soap, smell it, assess what fragrance is in the soap, feel the warm drops on your skin, and have gratitude that you are able to shower with clean warm hygienic water. There are many people in the world right now that this is not possible.
  • While on the way to work, either on the public transport or while driving, take time out from listening to the radio or a podcast, don’t go on social media and don’t read the paper. All of that is mind wandering into other people’s thoughts. Sit and be present. Can you be there, and empty the mind of thoughts. This won’t be easy, but with practice you will have glimpses into a space with no thought, just Being present.
  • While at the supermarket, take in the sounds around you, what do you hear? Be aware of the smells around you, what do you smell? What do you feel on your skin, is it cold or warm in there? Come to your senses and just observe that.
  • When cooking dinner, prepare your meals with love and do it slowly. Be aware that the food you are preparing is to be consumed by you, your family or friends. Be mindful that the energy that you are preparing and cooking with will go into that food. Ask yourself am I the embodiment of love now?
  • Before bed, turn off your phone, turn off your wifi, turn off your TV and anything that is bright or noisy, and then sit at the foot of your bed on the floor. Just for a few minutes close your eyes, place your hands over your heart and repeat slowly five times: “I Am The Expression Of Love.”

So there you have some very simple suggestions to help you meditate when you have no time to meditate. Perhaps you have some suggestions that you might like to share with us? We’d love to hear them below!

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Our monthly meditation coaching sessions are becoming a huge hit around the world! Feel free to check out our Inner Sanctum monthly meditation coaching. It’s less than $1.90 a week! Our last session had a big response with attendees saying:
“Your description of deep transcendence brings me to tears.”
“Wow, Magnificent! Thank you Tom.”
“A brilliant focusing of the concepts developed through meditation.”
“I always feel so invigorated after these sessions, thank you Tom!”

A Christmas Message With A Twist

We made a family decision this year…no presents at Christmas!

Yes, it will feel different, but in this time of year we were compelled to sit and contemplate what’s true for us and what’s a system of conditioning. Will we be missing out?

I shared a short video on Facebook. This message may resonate with you.

Enjoy!

Peace and light,

Tom

 

 

Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and transformational coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. To contact Tom regarding strategic intuitive guidance or if you are looking to book him to speak at your company click here.

 

10 Tips On How To Heal From Depression

I was at a function last week and the discussion turned to the emotional well being of today’s teenagers. Someone in the group mentioned that they knew of 5 teenagers that had taken their lives in the last year. Adding to that I mentioned how I was also invited to assist with a high school in northern NSW that had 10 students take their lives in the last 2 years.
The sad news is this isn’t confined to teenagers. Its seeping across the whole of society. We have more affluence than we have ever had access to in the history of humankind and yet we have such unbelievable levels of depression and suicide rates. I know that statement means carries little weight though. I know what its like to be deeply depressed and contemplating if life was worth living, and having access to affluence didn’t mean a thing to me. I recall being curled up in a ball on my bed, in a dark misery and self loathing, thinking of the option of not living through this. At one point I was trying to think of all the reasons why I should be happy to help get me out of this state. I had a multiple 6 figure salary, a secure job, a beautiful home, a stable family upbringing, good relationships and on paper an ideal lifestyle. Yet I was miserable. I was deeply depressed. I contemplated not living.
Depression can hit anyone. Young, old, rich, poor. You name it. And yeh, it’s brutal when it comes knocking. There are many factors that contribute to depression as presented here from the Lifeline web site:
* Relationship problems or conflict – e.g. separation/divorce, difficult/abusive relationship
* Job loss, especially long-term unemployment
* Loneliness or feeling isolated
* Excessive drug or alcohol use
* Having another family member who has depression
* Having a serious physical illness
* Changes in how the brain functions
* Personality factors – e.g. anxiety, low self-esteem
Ultimately the end result is that there are low levels of oxytocin and serotonin in the body which leads to a feeling of sadness, depression, emptiness and disconnectedness. The good news there is a way out of that dark abyss. Admittedly there is no magic pill (some doctors may think otherwise) but with a holistic approach there is every possibility that one could come out depression and live a lighter, happier existence. Here are some steps that I took that helped me find my way out of depression:
  1. Daily meditation. This plays a huge part in me feeling happier again. When you are stressed and anxious your body doesn’t produce the happy biochemicals of serotonin and oxytocin. It will produce cortisol, and adrenaline which cuts off your happy chemicals. So the first step is to start finding ways to remove the stress response in the body and meditation will help enormously with that. You can use an app, online programs or ideally, find a qualified meditation teacher who will take you through the steps of learning to meditate.
  2. Regular exercise. This has been scientifically proven to change your biochemicals and increase your happy chemicals in your body. (Black Dog trial ) Not only is exercise good for the increase in happy biochemicals it also is a great release of stress which leads to calmer healthier body and better sleep.
  3. Yoga and stretching. Sitting in a chair most of the day and being stressed will tighten up the body and block the flow of energy through the body. Yoga and stretching will open up the body, calm the mind and realign the body back into a healthier space
  4. Avoid negative media and dark depressing movies and books. Where you attention goes it grows. So if we put our mind on negative depressing content, our mind and body will start to align with the energy of that.
  5. Get off technology and get into nature. Shutting down our phones, iPads, laptops and nature bathing is a powerful way to elevate your energy. When we are in forests, oceans, meadows…anywhere in fresh air and in the simplicity of nature, we start to sync into that local environment which will leave you elevated and enlivened.
  6. Get some natural supplements into you. The American Agriculture Association admitted that there is 60% less minerals and nutrients in our fruit and vegetables than in the 1960’s due to the amount of over farming in the last few decades. Not only that, society in general is eating less fruit and vegetables and more processed food. Boosting your food with supplements with vitamins, minerals and herbs can make a big difference to your moods. For professional advice on this seek out a naturopath in your local village or even try online.
  7. Speaking of foods, stick with more locally grown fruit and vegetables from your growers market, and eat plenty of clean organic live food possible. Avoid greasy fatty foods, processed foods, gluten, caffeine, alcohol and refined sugars where possible.
  8. Sleep! Sounds sensible however we are now sleeping on average less than we ever have. Sleep plays such an important role in healing your mind and body from the stress response and increasing your feeling of wellbeing. I’m all for the afternoon nap just for 20 mins also if you can fit one in.
  9. Open Up To Family and Friends. You may feel like withdrawing from the world, but it’s those precious relationships that make all the difference. When you share your vulnerability and connect, it deepens the bond with them and builds love. There are people in your life that care unconditionally for you. Reach out and let them in. (By the way, it’s been proven that hugs increasing serotonin and oxytocin)
  10. Be active. Sitting in a dark room or curling under your doona all day is what you might feel like doing but it’s not going to help you. Get up and get active. Start doing things. Buy some plants and plant them around your suburb. Volunteer at a local charity. Walk someone’s dog. Go to the zoo. Join your local library and read a book. Find a meetup group and join it. Mow someone’s lawn. There are plenty of things we can do each day that will help you lift out of that dark night and move forward.
Depression can not only take control of your life, but it can also affect many people around you. We can heal from depression, but it will require some action. Doing the same thing over and over again won’t bring about a different result. Keep trying new things, see what works for you. If you are suffering depression, it is recommended that you seek professional help. Have someone to talk with. There are many support facilities around the world that are there to help you through this. You don’t need to do this on your own so please reach out to someone for help.

 

Tom is a meditation teacher, author, corporate speaker and personal coach. He provides one on one coaching as well as group coaching in his Zen Academy for Transformational Leadership. To contact Tom about receiving his guidance or booking him to speak at your company click here.

How To Reduce Anxiety And Live More Calmly

How are you feeling? Do you currently suffer from anxiety, insomnia, depression, adrenal fatigue overwhelm, panic attacks, OCD, ADHD, tapping leg syndrome? Or all of the above?

Recently I presented a couple of talks in front a large auditorium, one in Sydney and one in Melbourne and to open both of those talks I asked the audience who was feeling any of the above symptoms. What happened was around 80-90% of the audience put their hand up! 80-90%!

Here in Australia we are blessed to have one of the most affluent lifestyles in the world. Generally speaking most people in our society have smart phones, overseas holidays, nice houses with fresh running water, more food than we can ever eat, more clothes than we can ever wear and tumeric chai lattes! We don’t have marauding tribes chasing us down or sabre tooth tigers leaping out from behind rocks threatening our survival. So why is it we have such high rates of anxiety and panic attacks? Is there a correlation between intense quest to attain and sustain such a high rate of affluence and the toll that takes on our well-being to achieve it? Is it a matter of needing to shift our perspectives on what is important to us?

For years I suffered extreme anxiety and panic attacks, and to be very honest, there are times in my life now where I still get them. Every time I would feel that wave of anxiety sweep over me it is always when I am not present and in the moment. Its when my mind has leapt ahead into a future world, one that I am creating in my head full of scary scenarios of things going wrong. This completely distorts my present moment and triggers a stress response in my body of extreme fear about what could happen.

Our minds are amazing devices that are charmed by the idea of analysing and forecasting. It thrives in the future and the past, and has very little to do in the present moment. When the mind becomes quiet what prevails is a beautiful calm watchfulness of this moment. Here now. This ‘here now’ calmness is remarkably simply and even as I write this I can sit, pause and stay in this watchful calmness. Yet I can also notice how the mind wants to hijack this moment and take me to another place in the future. Some peoples stress default mode is anger or rage, others is deep lethargy or depression, and then there is anxiety and fear. This latter one is my default stress mode. I project into the future and get anxious about what ‘might’ happen. I usually think of a worse case scenario which triggers a huge anxiety reaction in the body.

There are a number of strategies that I use that can really help reduce the debilitating side effects of panic and anxiety. It needs to be a wholistic process, as I don’t believe there is a magic pill or cure for it.

1. Daily meditation. This will play a huge role in calming the nervous system and keeping the mind disciplined and in the present moment.

2. Daily Abhyanga. This is an ayurvedic self massage that soothes the nervous system and grounds the body. It is recommended to use sesame oil or you can buy ayurvedic abhyanga oil online. Once you massage yourself all over with the oil, have a warm bath or hot shower.

3. Vitamins and minerals. Ideally see a naturopath for a guide on what are the best supplement to take however vitamin B’s, C’s and magnesium are all good to help with anxiety.

4. Stay away from stimulating environments as much as possible. Overwhelming the nervous system with lots of noise and activity will wear the nervous system down and lead to emotional disturbance. Try to spend more time in quiet environments especially amongst nature

5. Reduce technology and the use of the phone. Pick up a book, talk with a friend, observe life through the senses, or simply be. I struggle with this one also. My phone is nearly always one and I have to admit, it lures my attention much more than should allow it to. But I know the time when I put it in a draw, turn it on airplane mode or shut it off, I feel so much better in the long run. Those short highs from scoring through a feed are like a sugar fix that doesnt last.

6. Get to bed by 10pm. Sounds simple enough but this change can make a huge difference to how you feel in the morning. There is a circadian rhythm in the day that peaks and troughs and there is a trough or downtime that comes around 9-10pm. This is when we ideally should be turning down lights, turning off technology, having a bath, reading, stretching and then hitting the pillow for a good night sleep from 10pm onwards. I know I feel heaps better the nights I fall asleep by 10pm and wake up around 5am or 6am!

These are just some strategies that will help reduce anxiety. There are more traditional methods like seeing doctors, psychologist and using medication which could all be an option if need be. Search in your local area for people who specialise in anxiety and panic for some further assistance and if things get severe, please please be sure to talk with someone about this.

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If you would like to learn to meditate we have our 21 day meditation program called Faster Deeper Bliss. In this program I will be with you every day for 21 days teaching you how to meditate deeply. This will help you feel calmer, sleep better and be less stressed about life. Find out more about this program by clicking here.

How To Avoid Angry Confrontations

It’s very disturbing when someone gets angry with you isn’t it? Almost immediately you feel that charge in your body, your blood pressure increases, you feel the flush in your cheeks, your heart starts pumping and adrenalin is coursing through your veins. Your first reaction is aggression. You rise up to meet your challenger and you defend your ground and force back on them with equal if not greater intensity of anger.

Now we have a collision of angry energy that usually escalates as each party unconsciously is vying for supremacy in this angry battle. Before long the entire episode, that can take literally a few minutes, can not only change your day or week, but can severely damage the relationship for good.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way. There is a way to be a part of that exchange that doesn’t involve you dropping down into a negative angry space. And there are two really good reasons why it’s important that we do our best to hold our own space and not get influenced by other people’s energetic states.

Firstly, holding our own calm and compassionate space is much healthier for our body. When we change our emotional state into anger our whole body changes. We are moving into sympathetic nervous system state as your body is preparing for a battle. Your blood pressure increases, your breath rate changes, your heart starts beating faster, your blood sugar levels changes, your brain starts functioning from basic reptilian rear lobe, and your biochemistry changes as cortisol and adrenalin replace serotonin and oxytocin. Now our entire state of well-being and happiness has been removed and it could take the entire day to reclaim it back.

Secondly, when we merge our angry state with the person who is projecting their angry state onto us, we have removed any possibility of inspiring them to another alternative. There is no backing out now and what was one angry person is now two angry people. This can then have a multiplying effect as we share our new angry state with friends and family who can then also join in the angry movement. “Oh that just makes me so angry!” they may reply to your sharing of the situation. Now two becomes three and so on it goes like a nasty virus of mediocrity and negativity spreading across society. By not having autonomy and sustaining our calm non-reactive state we have removed any possibility of offering the angry person any other option. We missed the possibility of inspiring harmony and unity at a much healthier level. This is disempowering for you and not great for them.

So how do we avoid getting pulled into those situations? Well this is the challenging part that requires constant vigilance and awareness. The ego of course thrives in angry confrontation; this really enlivens the ego and gives it a sense of purpose. The ego is like woo hoo! I love this stuff! And then the ego hijacks your state. The key to preventing the ego from disempowering you is constant vigilance and awareness of what’s ego and what’s not. We need to differentiate between what is ego and what is our essential nature because if we try doing this by suppressing emotions, (a characteristic of ego) then that suppressed energy will seek a release in some shape or form at a later date.

Behind the noise of the ego is a silent witness, a quiet awareness that simply is. In Vedic teachings they call it AMness or Being. Connecting with that is done though the deep transcending meditation techniques that take the mind out of duality and into the silence, where there is no thought, form or phenomenon. Regular meditation will over time enable you to sustain the presence of this quiet awareness through even the most testing of times. Then when a situation arises, you will have your default state prevail and no ego hijacking you out of it into a reactive emotional state. From here compassion, kindness, rationale and calm will be able to prevail within you. This may help diffuse the situation quickly and offer some inspiration for your angry attacker as another alternative. If not, then the next best outcome is that instead of two angry people we only now have one.

A little disclaimer…this process takes time and practice. It’s not an overnight shift that takes place. Be easy on yourself if you find yourself getting swept away by emotional reactivity. And if in doubt, seek out some support and guidance through these situations that doesn’t involve dumping more anger onto your Mum, brother, colleague or best friend.

Oh and one more thing, sometimes we may need to respond in a firm forceful way. Certain situations might call for this. Doing this mindfully and resetting quickly back to calm after the incident will dramatically affect how you feel and it will wash you of the negative charge quickly.

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If you would like to begin your journey into meditation, try our 21 day deep meditation program called Faster Deeper Bliss. In this program, you will receive daily guidance from meditation expert, Tom Cronin, every day for 21 days. Plus you will receive 35 support videos to answer all your questions and there a few bonuses in their also that will help take your life to the next level! Find out more about this program by clicking here.

Member’s comments about our program:
“I just want to mention that Faster Deeper Bliss most definitely changed (& still is changing!) my life, so thank you” -Lisa R

“I just completed day four of my Faster Deeper Bliss meditation.  I felt as if I had an out of body experience. The peace, love and serenity just made me cry. I didn’t want that amazing feeling to end. I never meditated before, but this program seemed to be a perfect fit for me at this time in my life. Thank you so much.” -Rhonda 

How A Young Rich Kid Reminded Me Of A Valuable Lesson

There’s probably a good chance that you don’t quite feel you are where you want to be or that you ‘have enough’? Do you feel there is more that you could do or more that you could have? What does it actually feel like to have ‘more than enough’? It’s almost impossible to imagine right?

This is one of the most powerful forces that drives us into action and that also leaves us with a gnawing feeling of not ever truly being satisfied. The other day I was sitting at the front of the cafe having my standard cashew nut milk chai latte as you do in Bondi, when a very young man in a $500,000 McLaren sports car pulled up right out the front of the cafe. The door of his car swished open up to the sky like a spaceship, he got out of the car and walked into the cafe to order his takeaway coffee. As he stood there at the front of the cafe waiting for his coffee, I couldn’t help myself and I went up to him and asked about his car. I was curious as to how this very young man had accumulated such wealth to drive a car like this. He briefly told me that he acquired his wealth through property development and then finished the sentence with “but I wish I started when I was younger”.

His coffee was ready; he grabbed it, got back in the car and sped off down the road. I sat there thinking about his predicament…it still wasn’t enough for him. It’s not that he was a greedy human being, it’s that he suffers from the same ailment that we all do. We exist with an ego that simply is never truly content. It’s not possible for our ego to ever fully be satisfied. No matter where we are and how much we have, the ego is never truly satisfied. It always wants more and it will never have enough. Period.

Yet this is not who we are in our entire entirety. Can we feel fulfilled? Yes, we already are fulfilled. At our deepest level, in the depth of Being, we are all that there is. We are complete, whole, and there is no lack. Imagine the Divine or the Universe saying, “I need more!” It’s laughable right? Our sense of lack is a function of our disconnection to our unbounded Divine essence. When this connection becomes established and stabilised, those pangs of not having enough start to fade away and a deep sense of awe, wonder, gratitude and love flow through us. We simply Be.

Transcendence of the boundaries of individuation and separateness is key to making this connection. This is done through the art of meditation. Our unlimited Self is subtle and not found in the relative field. Cars, money, houses, partners, children, these are all very worldly tangible things. The divine, well this is very very subtle and not as obvious and easy to access than a car or a chai latte. So we seek the obvious and the most dense first. But if we ignore the subtle, then we will always be plagued with a sense of lack and wanting to fill in another hole.

Seeking is a function of the ego. Being is always there. Being is Love. Being is Stillness. Be.

A Tip On How To Keep Your Sanity And Thrive While Being A Parent!

So you have just been through an intense few months of carrying a young human around in your belly, then you go through a 20 hour labour that is beyond any pain you may have ever experienced or will ever experience, you’re completely exhausted, then you are given a little fragile child to look after 24/7 with no manual!

Welcome to parenting! I realise this isn’t the way it is for everyone, but it’s how it was for my wife only it was slightly different, it wasn’t one child it was two! Being a new parent is an incredibly challenging time that can place a big strain not only on your own health and happiness but also on your relationship. Yet ironically it’s in this time that you really need to bond and support each other, and also have a heap of overflow for these beautiful little beings that have entered the world.

In this clip I share how meditation can play a big part in you getting through these difficult and challenging times. For instance, my wife would meditate while breast feeding during the night which would help throw off fatigue and release more serotonin and oxytocin into her body keeping her feeling elevated. So if you are about to enter into parenthood or are currently a parent check out this this clip below.

If you have young children then check out my kids book Missy Moo Meditates. In this book you will go on a journey as Missy Moo teaches her sister Boo how to meditate. Not only will your child learn to meditate while reading the book, but you will also receive a bonus guided meditation Mp3 to download and use whenever you want. Our whole family would sit on the sofa, turn off the lights and do this guided meditation before bed and the kids would sleep so well after it! Check it out here.
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