Let’s face it, when you’re happy it’s no fun being around unhappy people and when you’re unhappy, it really sucks being around happy people. Do you recall those feelings of repulsion when you are in your sombre state of misery and your friend comes bouncing in the room telling you to cheer up? Then next thing you see their inspirational quotes on Instagram plastered over a stock image of a sunset telling you how amazing life is! Ewwww…puke!
The flip side to this is when you are the one bouncing into the room feeling like you could burst with joy, which of course you can’t help but tell the world about and ol’ misery guts over there in the corner starts niggling away at you trying to do their damnedest to make you feel like crap with them.
There’s a simple reason for this- UNITY. All of your relationships thrive on having unity and they deteriorate when there is disunity. When there is unity, you have connection. When there is dis-unity there is disconnection.
Unity comes in many ways. For instance, you both like surfing, you both like films with Ryan Gosling in them, you both like yoga, you both like green smoothies…..lots of unity there!
But dis-unity happens when you like going to bed early at night so you can rise with the sun to meditate and ‘they’ like to stay up till 2am playing Assassins Creed on X-box drinking cans of Red Bull! Eeeek! You start nagging them to stop doing what they are doing which they see as criticism and then they attack you for undermining their choices in life and the friction escalates.
We see these very principles play out between family members, friends, religions, political parties, races, countries, and through all sports. You are Islamic, we are Christian; you are Republican, we are Democratic; we are Android, you are Apple; you are dark, we are pale; you are Afghanistanian, we are American; you are Manchester United, we are Liverpool FC.
Relationships are about two different teams seeking unity. When someone joins our team we are like YES! We have a new member. They are one of us….woohoo!! When someone leaves our team to be part of the other team we are like….oooh, they aren’t with us any more! They are one of those ‘OTHERS’!
In all my time mentoring people one of the biggest challenges I see people face is when the happy, calm team gets attacked by the unhappy, angry team as they try to sign up more members. Being happy annoys the unhappy people like crazy and they want more members on their team to feel better about their position. So if they can convert the happy people to be unhappy, then success! More members mean more validation about being unhappy and angry.
Step back and observe. Everyone is seeking unity, but you have to ask, at what price are you prepared to have a unified experience with them? You get to choose which team you get to play on. You can choose, in that moment, do I join their team as they try to create a situation with me so that I’ll also be angry and unhappy, or do I choose to hold my space and with loving kindness, and choose to remain on my team?
The whistles blown, its time for kick off!
If you are seeking some support to remain aligned to your TRUTH, then you may like to consider joining the monthly Q+A CLUB. This is an opportunity for you to join me and our Stillness Tribe in a LIVE call once a month and ask any questions you like. You’ll be inspired and re-aligned after the call, with a clear vision about which team you’d like to be on. Find out more below.