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Why It’s Time We Stop Loving Ourselves And Looking For Love!

It’s time to change a deep-rooted program in our culture. One of our greatest quests in life is to find love and to love ourselves. This has to stop.

This is where you say: “What!? Are you crazy Tom? Why would you say such a thing??”

What does love mean to you?

For so many people there is a lot of pain and suffering connected with love. We hear words like broken-hearted, loneliness, heartache, loss, and grief. I recall myself feeling that deep emptiness, abject misery and darkness sweep over me when I felt I didn’t have any love in my life.

When love is in the form of duality, that is, there is you, and then there is love, then we are in the realm of possibility that we may not experience love. If it needs to come from someone, then we are exposed to the chance that it might not come. Or it might come, and then it might be removed. Even the idea of ‘loving yourself’ implies two things, you and love.

This perspective has been the source of so much suffering in my life and billions of people across the world. The deep aching sense of separation between who we are at our deepest level and who we perceive ourselves to be leads to a sense of loss, loneliness and separation.

Only yesterday I had a student sharing an insight that they needed to learn to love themself more. I asked them to pause and reconsider this statement. As long as there an ‘I’ that is seeking love or to be loved, then we are missing the Truth. When we strip away the duality, strip away the ‘I’ that seeks love, and we will discover that we were never NOT LOVE. It is, was and always will be YOU.

The big question is how? Love is what remains when we remove all the noise, all the emotions, all the thinking. Clearing, clearing, clearing is the task at hand. We give so much attention to thinking and feeling that it is like a noisy cacophony that drowns out what is always there – the simple presence of LOVE. Daily meditation will help strip away that noise. Transcending the field of forms and phenomena is the process of being in the essence of our love. Then when this stabilisation into our essence becomes more established that it is, was and always will be within us.

Seeking love is the illusion, BEING love is the Reality. BE LOVE.


Our retreat experiences will support you into the exploration of your inner lovingness. We have a range of upcoming retreats in Byron Bay, Sydney, Melbourne and Bali to suit your needs. Click here to find out more.

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